Monday, January 7, 2008

Hope

"Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see." Hebrews 11:1

Sometimes it is so hard to believe that everything is under control--so hard to believe God has a plan for your life like he does for all the other billion people on the planet. But he does have a plan; he does love you; he is in control; you have to have FAITH in what you can not see!

I went through a stage of anger after Coy was born--I was angry that all the mothers around me had healthy babies; angry when I saw pregnant women in public; angry that I was cheated out of a happy pregnancy. That grief stage eventually passed; then came the hurt, confusion, jealously even. Today I feel like the luckiest girl on earth; I have a beautiful baby boy. I have a baby that has defied the odds, that has persevered through 5 weeks of life; a baby that is so full of life. How could I ever have felt cheated?? Robbed of something that really wasn't "mine"? Everything we have is God's; our houses, cars, clothes, money, etc; everything. God has blessed us; allowed us to "borrow" his child for this life on earth; and I feel completely honored that he would trust me as Coy's mom.

Today Coy was looking "puffy" again--however he has been urinating; even had great output yesterday and had some really wet diapers today. They started him on diuretics (HCTZ & aldactone) for his "Chronic Lung Disease" and pulmonary edema---the nurse practitioner even said the words "he will probably go home on these medications". Chris and I and Grandpa & Grandma Kolkhorst have all noticed the doctors/ NP saying the words "going home" when describing certain situations---for instance they say Coy may "go home" on oxygen; before this past week, we've never heard the words "going home"--they wouldn't even give you hope for tomorrow, much less "home"
Anyway--he was started on diuretics and he has seemed to respond well to them; he has a chest xray every monday, wednesday, friday--pray with us that his xray on Wednesday looks better; that Coy is able to excrete the fluid on his lungs and breathe easier...

So now that Coy is getting bigger (he weighed in at 2lb 2oz last night---some of it is fluid so dont get too excited) his ET (endotracheal) tube is too small; meaning there is an air leak and some of the air "escapes"--his leak is evaluated by the ventilator and can go from 0% to 100% in a matter of seconds--of course when Coy is not getting enough O2, he desats (his blood oxygen level drops)....there is nothing they can do about the leak right now---the next size ET tube is for babies at least 1500 grams; Coy is only about 900 grams---so it takes lots of patience and manipulating from the nurses to get the leak as minimal as possible; please pray for Coy's oxygen levels to stabilize; for his blood gases to improve; for the patience and endurance of the awesome nurses

We need prayers tonight/today for:

  • God to mature and heal Coy's lungs; for the fluid to be removed so Coy can breathe easier
  • that Coy's gut will continue to mature and digest all his breast milk (he's now at 8cc!!)
  • that Coy's urine output will be enough to reduce the swelling on his little body
  • that Coy will depend less on the ventilator and be able to breathe on his own
  • that Coy remains infection free and his IV can be taken out soon!
  • that Coy will have total healing of his eyes, hearing, brain, kidneys, heart, GI tract
  • that the nurses and doctors will be well rested and ready to handle the stresses of their job

thanks to all!

5 comments:

Lynne Piper said...

Hi Ann Marie:

Thank you for the inspiring words...a reminder to all of us to be joyful exactly where we are. For this is the day that the Lord hath made.

We will continue in our prayers for Coy.

Lynne

Anonymous said...

Coy is such an inspiration. You will never know all the lives he has impacted in just this short little time. Just imagine all the work God still has planned for him today. Your words also fill everyone with so much hope and encouragement--not just regarding Coy but our own problems. Keep up the good work and we'll keep up the prayers.

Anonymous said...

I caught your blog on another blog. What an awesome little guy! Such a fighter. I know everyone who reads about him is rooting for him to get better and be able to breathe on his own. I was skimming through past comments...Why not give that tape recorder thing a try (with your voices on it) to see what happens? Maybe he will breathe better when he hears your voices all the time. It's worth a shot. God works miracles and in unbelievable ways. (at least to us they seem unbelievable and sometimes even odd) -JC

Vicki said...

Hi Chris, Your Dad gave Dr. Hall this web address and I FINALLY remembered it when I saw it on the Christmas letter your Mom sent to our office. What a beautifuly little boy you have! He is for sure a Chris clone. I have been praying for you and Ann Marie and Coy and I will put you on an email prayer that my Mom sends out daily to all my HUGE family. That's a LOT of extra people praying for you. Thanks for updating the site, even when you are exhausted. It probably helps you two to vent and it makes us feel like we are there. Anyway, I hope I get to meet Coy in person one day. I miss you, Chris. With love and prayers, Vicki

Mark said...

Mark and Marina are still praying for you Coy... and your parents. We think about Coy every day. Ann Marie and Chris - your strength and focus during this harrowing and miraculous time is amazing to watch. We are so inspired by Coy and his fight! God continue to be with all of you - and protect that little guy... mg