Wednesday, April 1, 2009

one week down...

I can't believe it's been one week since I've officially been placed on bedrest. The time seems to have passed quickly, but slowly at the same time. Besides reading, praying, watching tv, snuggling with Coy and Chris, and eating, I've been just 'hanging' out. I've always been somewhat of a 'homebody,' so being home all the time in my comfy clothes really isn't that out of the norm for me. I had grown even more accustom to it since Coy's arrival and avoiding the public was a must. I must admit, however, when I went to the doctor on Monday, I put on make-up and got dressed for the first time since last Wednesday and it felt good!

I am still having contractions every now and again. They mainly occur in the evenings/at night/ with movement. I continue on oral terbutaline PRN/q6H and drink TONS of fluid. Prior to pregnancy, I was never been a big water consumer; I'd much rather have a diet coke or Starbucks. And that's usually what I drank. But since I've been pregnant, I've taken in more water/Gatorade the past few months then the previous two years of my life. =) Of course, when I was pregnant with Coy, I drank lots and lots of water too. =)

The plan for the remainder of the pregnancy is to take everything week by week, and trust in God that He has a plan for this baby girl, for our family and that everything is in His control. My prayer of recent has been this: that God willing my pregnancy continue to term, but if not, that God prepares my heart and that His will be done. I do not want to live with a spirit of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of painful experiences and bad endings. Fear is from Satan and is the opposite of faith. In Isaiah 41:11, God tell us, "do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

A big lesson I learned with Coy is that hurtful, bad, tragic things do happen to good people who believe in God. Before Coy was born extremely premature, my life was without tragedy, without death, without illness. I thought that God would always protect you from those horrific things if you asked that of Him. However, my growth as a Christian has taught me that God does not always prevent tragedy in your life and does not promise a life without it, but He does promise to walk with you through it; that He will never leave or forsake you. And, that is what brings me more peace right now than praying 'nothing bad' will happen to my baby or I.

Don't get me wrong, I am human, and continue to struggle with doubt and trusting 100% in the Lord. I want to know that I will hold my beautiful baby girl in my arms in 17 weeks. But wow, what a VERY long 17 weeks it will be if I try to control everything that is simply 'out of my control.'

Psalm 112:7
"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."


Lynne Piper said...

Hi Ann Marie:

Just wanted you to know that I'm praying for you and your little baby girl this morning.

I'm so glad you are leaning on God's Word to walk through the minefield of uncertainty and doubt that are pressing on you. One day at a time is how we're going to pray you through.


Lynne Piper

Amanda said...

What an awesome testimony.

Todd Kolkhorst said...

Love the verse about not living in fear! Shows how much God can provide for us.. not just monetary or physically, but emotionally. Your post really made my day! thanks ree!

Shyanne said...

Praying for you.

Anonymous said...

Continuing to pray for you and your family. Your faith and strength are inspiring AnnMarie.

Lauren said...

You have a great attitude and outlook for this pregnancy. I keep praying that everything will go smoothly for you. I remember all the water consumption that I had to do when I was pregnant. I was going to the bathroom every 15 minutes!

I love the verse you posted too... That's a good one to remember.

Hang in there!

Anonymous said...

Ann Marie,
Be encouraged. I have great news for you. You stated you were seeking God's will for this pregnancy, right? God's will is His Word and His will IS for you and your baby to be healthy. God is no respecter of persons (Col. 3v25) and in Mark 1v41 Jesus said to the leper it was His will for him to be healed. 3 John 2 says that it is God's will for us(put your name/your baby girl's name here)to prosper and be in health even as our soul (which is our mind, will, emotions)prospers. Matthew 18v18 says that He only allows what we allow on the earth, since He gave us dominion over all the earth (Gen. 1v26). Do not allow satan to steal you baby or your health. Tell him to get out in the Name of Jesus. I speak healing over you and your sweet family. God wills for you guys to be healthy all the time. He is a good Daddy. He doesn't do bad stuff to teach us lessons. He teaches us by His Word, not yuck circumstances. Trust God to do good, not do whatever. Matthew 9v29 says that according to our faith it will be done unto us. This may be new information for you, maybe not. Maybe it is just a reminder to encourage you. I believe you are encouraged by this. I speak undisturbed peace and composure over you and your sweet, healthy family in Jesus' Name. (Isaiah 54v13)

Devon said...

found your blog from olivia & logan's blog...

i'm a 23 weeker mom too but my two baby boys passed away. i am also a mom to a 29 weeker who is a perfect, healthy 2.5 year old today.

i'm praying for you...praying your little girl stays put for a very long time! i know how vulnerable you feel...i started bed rest with my twins at 16 weeks...

you can do this. wishing you all the best!