7 lbs 6.5 oz and 20 inches long

And baby McKenzie Reese is doing amazingly well! She continues to stay strong on the nasal cannula! Please continue to pray for her and her family!

a God of miracles

Just some of my thoughts tonight...and a recount of December 3rd, 2007.

We are so thankful for all of you who continue to lift our family up in prayer. I have felt this guilt lately; like I haven't thanked God enough for the miracle He has given us. I still look at Coy and am just speechless. He's just so beautiful and I just don't feel worthy of this blessing.

Chris and I were forced to make an unbearable decision in the days prior to Coy's birth--wait for my labor to begin and deliver him vaginally (which the doctors informed us he would most likely not survive), or do a emergency C-section if his heart rate dropped due to a prolapsed cord (it was pushed back in twice; they informed us a C-section was risky for me due to infection)...with the help of our families, we agreed that a C-section would be too risky for me, that we would be forced to allow my labor to progress. For the next day, my heart was so unsettled with this decision. The thought of Coy dying inside me, and having him stillborn was just absolutely horrifying. I begged God to not let this happen.

Then came the morning of Monday, December 3rd. The contractions started and they were strong and regular. On exam, my cord was once again prolapsed and Coy's HR was in the 40s. The two doctors looked at each other, then looked at us with sorrow in their eyes; I could barely bring myselft to make eye contact back; they said their condolences and that this was probably "for the best" due to his gestational age and severe prematurity. This was it; the most important decision of our lives was made a few days ago and we had to stand by it. Due to the "profound" risk of losing my life, we were being forced to let him go; we were losing him. It was a nightmare come alive; I kept thinking this could not be happening. The emotions inside me were indescribable. I remembered back to feeling him kick that morning. Now, I was frantically trying to remember what time that was; "Please Coy, kick mommy, please God."

We prayed with our families and began the unimaginable task of mourning the loss of our baby boy. We stayed in the room another 30 minutes before I was wheeled to L&D. In the halls were cheers and smiles, other families full of excitement and joy; I buried my head deep in my pillow. These were sounds I could not tolerate to hear.

Shortly after being moved to L&D, I received an epidural for pain, both the physical and emotional. The doctors and nurses worked quietly, they were sensitive and respectful of our loss. Chris and I were then left alone, to pray and mourn, I just remember asking Jesus to hold Coy tight for me, tell him how much I love him.

Twenty minutes later, the L&D nurse returned and asked a question I will never forget, "Do you want to check for fetal heart tones one last time?" (I was only spot checked while in the hospital) My immediate response was no, Chris said yes. I could not bear to hear silence on the monitor; that would make this nightmare real--that our baby boy was was really gone. After my hesitation, we agreed to check for heart tones "one last time." Then came the greatest sound I've ever heard; his heartbeat at 150 bpm. The decision we made earlier was one we could no longer stand by. As our families waited frantically at the door, we informed our OBGYN we had changed our minds, that we wanted a C-section. Within minutes, I was in surgery and Coy was delivered alive.

I re-lived the events of the day at least 100 times that night. Was I dreaming? Was Coy really alive? Did our God really just perform this amazing miracle? Coy is an absolute joy and I am still trying comprehend his existence. God is still a God of miracles; I am holding one now as he sleeps.

Off topic....I've been tagged....

I have been summoned by Robyn from Nebraska in this blog world game of "tag"...I guess I will play along since I'm so thankful for all her thoughts and prayers!

Here are the rules:

• Link to the person who tagged you
• Post the rules on your blog
• Write six random things about yourself
• Tag six random people at the end of your post by linking to their blogs
• Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment at their blog
• Let your tagger know when your entry is up.

Six random things about us (in case anyone cares...=)):

1) I am an introvert, I like to observe, think and listen, not really talk. I actually HATE talking on the phone. So if you call me and I don't answer, it's not you, it's me. =)

2) In my 10 years of driving, I have NEVER been pulled over for any reason. I guess it's the (fake) blonde hair, I dunno...

3) I hate cooking...I'm actually terrified of it...I once caught chicken on fire in my apartment kitchen, and I mean, FLAMES and the whole apartment filled with black smoke....so, I refrain myself from it these days, I would hate to burn our new house down...Chris is actually a wonderful cook and he usually does the grocery shopping too...I'm lucky, right? He does the cookin, I do the cleaning...

4) Coy's name was discovered in a Baby Name Book of all places! No special meaning, we just liked it! (and I can't tell you how many people asked us if we named him after a fish! that's Koi, not Coy! and why would I seriously name my son after a fish?)

5) Chris grew up playing baseball, played collegiate baseball at Rice University, won the NCAA National Championship in 2003, and played in the San Diego Padres organization for 2 years before retiring to move back to Houston permanently.

6) Chris and I reconnected at "The Library." We graduated from high school together as friends, but didn't keep in touch through college. We saw each other again randomly in Austin, Texas (I went to THE University of Texas @ Austin) in a BAR called The Library! This is where he told me he was going to date me, but I just thought he was full of it! I guess he was right!

I am tagging:

Kelly, Erin, Stephanie, Tracey, and Julie..

ROP

I feel like every time I am "not worried" about something or I think we're "in the clear" something always throws me off track. There is a chance Coy's ROP is returning. We saw Dr. Hittner yesterday and she informed me (after examining him awhile, I instantly knew something was up) that his "plus disease" has returned. This, according to Dr. Hittner, is usually the first thing to return if the ROP is going to come back. It hit me like a ton of bricks. I just assumed that everything was okay.

Dr. Hittner, of course, is a world renowned pediatric ophthalmologist, and she has recently finished a clinical trial on a new medication to treat ROP. This medication is injected into the eyes and per her words is a "miracle drug." So, the good news, if the ROP does return, surgery will hopefully be avoided using this new "miracle drug." She is still working on approval from the FDA, so they are not able to us it in the hospital yet, however, she can use it in an outpatient setting with our consent. This was a relief for me to hear---if not, we would have to mess with putting him back in the hospital for surgery, which would include reintubation. We will see her again in two weeks. Dr. Hittner must have read my face, because she was very comforting and reassuring. She's known to be "like a general" however, she was optimistic that this new drug will work if needed.

So, please pray for total healing of Coy's eyes. Pray for perfect vision and sight! Thanks to you all for your continued thoughts and prayers!

(oh yeah, he is now 7 lb 3 oz! We have a home scale and I weighed him yesterday!)

7 lbs!

Our little man now weighs 7lbs! He's even grown out of some of his clothes! I was so excited! He's in-between Preemie and Newborn sizes right now. I just love dressing him everyday! We've had a great time just "hanging out" together this past week or so. It's so nice to not have any appointments. We do go back to Dr. Hittner tomorrow for a check-up--please continue to pray for total healing of Coy's eyes.

I was so scared to stay home with Coy after our neighbors house was broken into two days ago. They kicked in the front door and stole the plasma T.V. and some very special jewelery--all while their alarm was going off. The police were dispatched by the alarm company as a "motion alarm" in the house, so they thought it was a pet. They didn't show up for 1 hr 15 minutes! So, the intruders were long gone by then. It's so unfortunate that this has been occurring more often in our area. Apparently, they are targeting homes that no one is home during the day. I was just freaked out to think someone could have been lurking around my house too, and possibly saw me inside! It's sad there are some seriously bad people in this world. I guess you can't be too cautious no matter where you live!

Anyway, here are some recent pics...

"Oh Mom, please take these glasses off me, I'm not a doll..."








And Coy wants to say, "Happy Birthday Aunt Mandy and Uncle Matthew!"....

SCARED!

We had a VERY scary incident hit close to home today....our NEXT DOOR neighbors house was burglarized (kicked the front door in) sometime this morning before noon....very scary for me because I was at home with Coy and I didn't hear anything unusual! I thought our neighborhood was safe! I prayed last night for protection over our home and family as always...I know we had God's grace over us. Thank goodness, our neighbors were not home at the time. So, please pray for continued protection over our home and family! I cannot imagine what I would do if someone kicked in our front door! I mean, Coy is attached to apnea monitor and oxygen, I can't pick him up and run??!

So, Coy is doing great! He has been taking 100cc at every feeding! We bought a home scale and weighed him two days ago--he was 6lb 13 oz! He's also been sleeping better at night!

I am also happy to report that baby McKenzie has been going strong on a nasal cannula! She is such a little fighter! Keep praying for her continued healing!

We are so thankful to you all!

prayer request please!

"He sent His word and healed them, and delivered them from their destructions." Psalm 107:20

We are in need of prayers tonight for baby McKenzie Reese, born today 4/19/08 weighing 1 lb 4.8 oz at 28 weeks. Please pray for complete and total healing of baby McKenzie. Please beg God for a quick and painless stay in the NICU for baby McKenzie. I know the emotions and feelings these parents (our friends) are feeling at this joyous yet horrifying time. It's indescribable.

miracle

God is so good. I am still trying to fathom what a miracle Coy is. You would think since I lived this experience that I would understand. But I just can't wrap my brain around it. His greatness is just too much for me to comprehend. I look at pictures like these......




and am just speechless. All I can manage to get out is "THANK YOU!" God is so good. I am now and forevermore grateful for His plan.

So, good news to report....Coy is now almost off all oxygen!! I have been so stressed over the reflux issue, that I haven't thought much about weaning his oxygen. Yesterday, I thought I'd give it a try and see how he did. I took off his oxygen and hooked up his pulse ox. Sure enough, he did great!! He was between 93-100 the whole time! I am still putting him on the oxygen when with feeds, just to give him that extra boost, but he now fights it! And he's strong!

We had his ECI (Early Childhood Intervention) evaluation today. ECI is a state program that is set-up to help babies/children with developmental delays and disabilities. It is made up of therapists/nutritionist/etc that go to your house and do therapies like physical or speech, etc. Since Coy was born 4 months premature, his development is slower/different than that of a normal term kiddo. He is technically classified as a "newborn" still; 2 weeks and a few days old. Good news is they didn't feel he needed intervention right now! They will come monthly just to assess him, but as of now, he looks good! He is lacking in the Fine Motor skills, he still doesn't track objects, but those are things that will come in time.

Like I said earlier, the reflux issue has been stressing me! Thanks to all of you for all your encouragement and advice! Reflux is stressful, even to full term babies mamas! So, he has done better on the Zantac and Reglan, but I am still uneasy about the whole thing. For my piece of mind, I went ahead and made an appointment with a Pediatric GI doctor. Although, Coy's pediatrician didn't think it was necessary, I think I would rather make sure 'it's not necessary' rather than assume it. I would much rather the GI doc tell me "Coy doesn't need to see me" over down the road telling me we should have been seen much earlier! He has an appointment in 2 weeks and thank goodness we have good insurance and didn't need a referral!

Please continue to pray for Coy! We are doing great and are so appreciative of all the love!

new pictures from Homeshade Photography!

Here are a few of the photos that Tasha Pool with Homeshade Photography recently took of Coy! She is an incredible person and photographer!
www.homeshadephotography.com
(Thanks Tasha for letting me post these!)

THANK YOU!

Thanks to everyone for your advice! I love reading the comments and getting all your good ideas! So, THANKS!

I'm happy to report we are all doing much better! The reflux meds are working for Coy and he's taking them better now. We took the Zantac back to the pharmacy and had them flavor it grape which made it taste better and thickened it up some. Coy is now taking that medication w/o difficulty. The Reglan he needs to take a whole 5ccs (which is alot for a medicine) so, he's still not taking this one as well. I did order one of those Kidz Meds pacifiers (great idea!) and am hopeful that Coy will take the Reglan better with the new pacifier.

He's taking 80-90cc with each bottle and it usually only takes him 15-20 minutes! He has only spit up once since starting on the reflux meds, so this has eased my anxiety some. We have also been allowing him to sleep on his belly for the past two nights. I know this is a big "No- No" with the SIDS people, but hey, he's sleeping great, not spitting up, Chris & I are sleeping, and he's on a monitor. (He is sleeping in a cradle in our room....)

We are so grateful for all of you reading our blog and praying for us!

frustrated and sleep deprived

(this post may sound negative...I am not meaning it to be...just very tired......)

"But I call to God, and the Lord saves me. Evening, morning and noon I cry out in distress, and he hears my voice." Psalm 55: 16-17

So, we started Coy on reflux meds on Friday evening (Zantac and Reglan) and have seen a great improvement during feedings! He no longer is arching his back or retching in pain; he's even had minimal spit up as well (the medications do not prevent him from spitting up; the Reglan empties his stomach faster (so he is not spitting up hours after eating) and the Zantac treats the heartburn feeling that he is having). With that said, we are now having problems getting the medications in him! For the past two days, he is now choking on the medications and having having bradys! I am doing all I can to disguise the taste, even breaking up the medications so he only takes one per feeding (he's suppose to take both medications 3 times daily 30 minutes prior to feeding)....Now, we have a catch 22--which is worse, the reflux? or the choking on meds which he aspirates which can cause pneumonia? We had a visit to the pediatrician today and she seems to think it will all be "just fine." She told me to stop "worrying so much and just relax." Okay, that's impossible. (keep reading, you will see why...)

I did not blog about this Friday, but on last Thursday night, we had quite a scare with Coy. I put him down in his cradle (at an angle on his right side, never flat!) 2.5 hours after feeding him last and was about to get in the bath. The next thing I know, his apnea monitor is alarming "low heart rate"--Coy had vomited and was choking on it. His eyes were bulging out and he was not breathing (he was not blue yet, but on his way there); the nurse in me suddenly took over and I was shouting orders to Chris. I flipped him over and beat on his back, suctioned him out, and turned up the oxygen. It took him an hour to recover with his saturation---I left him up at close to 1/4L for a good hour. We were both shaken up over this--I mean, I held him for 2.5 hours after he ate last! He was to eat again in 30 minutes! So, I did explain all this to the doctor last Friday--she agreed with me and prescribed the reflux meds.

So since this happened, I have not been able to sleep at night! I have awakened before and found his monitor had alarmed apnea and I did not hear it! So, my fear is that if both Chris & I are asleep, we wont hear the monitor if this happens again. And I know, we can not continue on this schedule; I am literally holding him 22 of 24 hours a day. My poor husband is so tired in the mornings and I am a zombie all the time. So, as the title says, I am frustrated and sleep deprived.

He has been eating much better with the medications and the spit up has been minimal. I am hopeful that we are on our way to more sleep. But still fearful of this happening again. And fearful of the aspirating--I just flash back to the time he was in the NICU with pneumonia and was maxed out on the ventilator!

Please pray for all three of us! Pray that the medications work quickly and that Coy takes them without choking! Pray for me to "not worry" and "to relax."

Now, some POSITIVE news...Coy had another check up today with his regular pediatrician; he weighed in at 6lb4oz & was 19 inch long! Such a big boy (to us anyway)! He received his 4 month immunizations and took them like a champ. However, now he is alittle bit fussy....(gave him some Tylenol...)

And, his saturations have been great--mid to high 90s--even without his oxygen in. I have been watching him closely since Thursday night; he is not breathing harder or having any retractions. He's breathing great, which is a good sign. And he is still eating well most of the time.

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! We are so appreciative! And so thankful for all your good advice!

good news, bad news

first, the good news...

We had a visit to the Ophthalmologist, Dr. Hittner, again. She said and I quote, "His eyes look terrific!" Of course, she always gives her disclaimer speech of, "However, ROP is like cancer, it can always come back." I am not even going there! We don't see her back for 3 weeks! It really takes alot out of Coy traveling--especially down to the medical center from our house--so I am so thankful that are doctor appointments are becoming few and far between.

now, the bad..

The reflux has not improved since feeding him just plain breast milk vs. the fortified milk. Please continue to pray against this! And thanks to all you preemie (and non-preemie) moms for all your advice and encouragement! I can use all the info you can give! I really hate seeing him developing this reflux. I guess I always had a gut feeling that he had it, but it was very mild at worst, so I thought maybe it would go away. No such luck. I have talked to his Pedi today and we are starting him on meds that will hopefully help.

Here are a few pics from today...(they were taken with my cell phone, so they're not the best quality)...