one week down...

I can't believe it's been one week since I've officially been placed on bedrest. The time seems to have passed quickly, but slowly at the same time. Besides reading, praying, watching tv, snuggling with Coy and Chris, and eating, I've been just 'hanging' out. I've always been somewhat of a 'homebody,' so being home all the time in my comfy clothes really isn't that out of the norm for me. I had grown even more accustom to it since Coy's arrival and avoiding the public was a must. I must admit, however, when I went to the doctor on Monday, I put on make-up and got dressed for the first time since last Wednesday and it felt good!

I am still having contractions every now and again. They mainly occur in the evenings/at night/ with movement. I continue on oral terbutaline PRN/q6H and drink TONS of fluid. Prior to pregnancy, I was never been a big water consumer; I'd much rather have a diet coke or Starbucks. And that's usually what I drank. But since I've been pregnant, I've taken in more water/Gatorade the past few months then the previous two years of my life. =) Of course, when I was pregnant with Coy, I drank lots and lots of water too. =)

The plan for the remainder of the pregnancy is to take everything week by week, and trust in God that He has a plan for this baby girl, for our family and that everything is in His control. My prayer of recent has been this: that God willing my pregnancy continue to term, but if not, that God prepares my heart and that His will be done. I do not want to live with a spirit of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of painful experiences and bad endings. Fear is from Satan and is the opposite of faith. In Isaiah 41:11, God tell us, "do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

A big lesson I learned with Coy is that hurtful, bad, tragic things do happen to good people who believe in God. Before Coy was born extremely premature, my life was without tragedy, without death, without illness. I thought that God would always protect you from those horrific things if you asked that of Him. However, my growth as a Christian has taught me that God does not always prevent tragedy in your life and does not promise a life without it, but He does promise to walk with you through it; that He will never leave or forsake you. And, that is what brings me more peace right now than praying 'nothing bad' will happen to my baby or I.

Don't get me wrong, I am human, and continue to struggle with doubt and trusting 100% in the Lord. I want to know that I will hold my beautiful baby girl in my arms in 17 weeks. But wow, what a VERY long 17 weeks it will be if I try to control everything that is simply 'out of my control.'

Psalm 112:7
"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."