Terrified of 'exposing' Coy to excessive or unwanted germs, we have thought little about putting him into a MDO/preschool program. The thought of Coy in an environment with group toys, snotty noses, and accidently shared sippy cups was enough to send me into a panic. However, in the past few months, I've come to the conclusion that I can't live 'in fear'...constantly worried about him getting sick or what would happen if ______ . And, knock on wood, it seems as though the less I've tried to 'control' things, the healthier he's been.
Of course, I'm not saying that I knowingly bring him around sick people or don't clean his hands or just quit being sanitary. No way, Jose! But I do believe he needs the social interaction of his peers, he needs to be around kids his age. There is no doubt in my mind that I have some PTSD-effect related to Coy's NICU and my hospitalization that contributes to my hyper-sensitivity of 'germs'. I am not the innocent mom whose thinking is "nothing bad will happen to my child". But I do trust in God and I do know that he didn't give us this miracle child to hide him away from the world and live in constant fear and worry.
With the help of great therapists and physicians, it has become more and more apparent to us that Coy does have some level of Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Basically, his brain has trouble processing all the stimuli that he's exposed to every second of the day. The symptoms can be much like that of a child with ADHD (hyperactive, unable to focus). I recently read that SID has been labeled the 'hidden disability' because until it is diagnosed, kids seem as though they are badly disobedient. Effects of SID include doing poorly in school, having low self esteem, emotional problems, and social isolation. Of course as parents, we hear that and want to do everything possible to avoid the bad outcomes and give Coy every advantage we can.
One of the reasons we've decided that a MDO/preschool program would be beneficial is due to Coy's delayed speech development. He does say some words and is making progress, but he does have difficutly with his motor planning. If we ask him to repeat a new word, he'll stare at our lips and then in frustration he'll scream or say 'dada'. The problem is not that he doesn't understand what he just heard....his comprehension is spot on. The problem is that he can't figure out how to repeat what he just heard. Along with weekly Speech therapy, we're hoping that attending a MDO program will help his language development. Being enrolled in MDO will also (hopefully) help us be prepared for adjustments that we'll need to make to get him ready for Kindergarten...i.e, sit in the front of the room, walk in the front of the line, special education, etc.
So, where I was going with this whole post was that I recently toured a preschool program and thought it was a great school. I am asking God to lead me to the right school for Coy...one that will understand his needs and help him thrive. SID is not a well known nor well understood disorder by many....and my concern is that he will be over-looked or misunderstood. It will probably kill me to drop him off the first couple weeks, but I know that I can't and wont be able to protect him his entire life (although I will be trying to, I'm sure). Chris and I have had converstaions about this and he heard a great quote recently that stuck with me, "You can't prepare the path for the child, but you can prepare the child for the path." Very true.
And I know that ALL children develop at different rates and levels. And I do appreciate the kindness is behind the stories such as, "my kid didn't speak until 3" or "don't worry, he's normal hyperactive 2 year old." Unfortuantely, we can't sit back and wait and see if he is or is not 'normal'. We have to be aggressive and proactive as much as possible. But I do sincerely appreciate the love that you blanket us with to keep us from worrying or freaking out.
Now, I'm still learning all about SID and if I've misspoken about anything, feel free to correct me. I'm trying to take in all the info I can. I feel very thankful that Coy has the best OT (occupational therapist) and works very hard for him. She has been a blessing in our lives and I'm confident that she'll help Coy deal/overcome this challenge.
Thanks for all your continued love, support, and prayers.
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