31w4d

I can now see the 'light at the end of the tunnel.' I was so thankful to get to 28weeks, then 30weeks, now I want 32weeks. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be 'ready' to give birth. I think regardless of the gestational week (even at term), I'll feel like it's 'too early.' When your baby is born prematurely, you carry a guilt that your body failed and your child suffered. I want to protect Cydney with everything I have, and the best way for me to do that, is for her to be in my womb. I do, however, have a sense of relief that is she was born soon, her NICU course would be much different than what we experienced with Coy. Obviously, if we can avoid the NICU completely, I won't complain, but it's nice to be *almost* 32 weeks.

I don't have much to update today. Everything is pretty much the same, thank God! I have really good days where I don't feel many contractions, and then I have days where everything is really irritable. My doctor is going to start checking my cervix once per week (I think starting tomorrow). The reason for this is because I have a cerclage (stitch) in place and if my cervix is fully effaced and dilating, the cerclage will have to be removed. The stitch wont break--it will tear my cervix. He said I may or may not have bleeding/pain and therefore, I may not be aware if something is changing. Obviously, that needs to be watched closely and prevented.

Coy and Chris came to visit Saturday and Sunday. I love spending time with them. It's nice to have 'family' time and just hang out. Coy is walking so good. He is everywhere and so proud of himself! We are so proud of him too!

I took some cute pictures of him today, but can't download them to this computer. Sorry, you won't see any good pictures until after I get back home! =)

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! We couldn't do this without your love and support.

Baby Sister and Big Brother

I am so blessed to be 31 weeks pregnant! I know I say this every week, but it seems surreal. Sometimes it's as though the past 11 weeks have dragged by, but in the next breath, time has flown past me.

When I came into the hospital at 20 weeks, I was hopeful, but overwhelmed. It was too much to comprehend the next 4, 8, 12, or 16 weeks. I am praising God for bringing us this far. Although our journey is not over (hopefully), I am feeling as though weights are slowly being lifted off my shoulders.

I love Psalm 73:26, "My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." For unknown reasons, my body doesn't hold up well in pregnancy. My uterus contracts and cervix thins, but God is in my heart, my strength and carrying me through. Praise Him!

Cydney update:

She is weighing in at 3 lbs 7 oz! Wow, big girl! She looked great on ultrasound and was moving all about. Her head is up by my bellybutton and it sticks out like a hard lump. It's the funniest thing. It's her bottom that's sitting down on my cervix. I got some really wonderful face shots today; she is beautiful!

Coy update:

He is feeling better, thanks for all your love and prayers! He is my everything and I am really missing him these days. He is growing up so fast...I can't believe he's no longer a baby. He's my big, WALKING, boy. Yes, he started actually walking on Sunday night. Can you believe it? In the midst of his sickness and teething, he decided he was going to start walking. I am so proud of him. He's an absolute miracle of God and I don't feel worthy to be his mommy.

Here are a few pics of him from this week...they're all taken with cell phone cameras so they're not the best quality...

He's walking the dogs...(if you click on the picture, it'll blow up so you can see it better...that's a leash in his hand and it's attached to the dog although you can't really tell !)
Eating some spaghetti...
Practicing for the PGA tour...

Once again, thanks for all your love and prayers! We are so blessed by your emails, comments, cards, and letters. I'll keep you updated! =)

update

Thanks for all your prayers! Chris, Grandma K, & Grandpa K brought Coy to the ER because his pulse ox was reading that his sats were in the 80s. It's been really stressful for all of them because this would mean Coy needed oxygen (we don't have any in the house anymore since he passed his sleep study), but otherwise, he was acting himself. He does have a bad cough, but he's been on an antibiotic since being diagnosed with 'beginning stages of pneumonia' on Friday. Of course, this freaked me out. Pneumonia can be VERY bad and I automatically thought the worst.

The home pulse ox is a tricky little machine and not always accurate (especially if limbs are flying everywhere). So, to be safe, Coy was checked out by the ER doctor. Thankfully, he was sating 95% and he checked out fine. He's still fighting his illness, but hopefully, he's on the road to recovery. On top of his sickness, he's getting 4 new teeth! Poor baby has just had a really rough week. Please continue to pray for his healing. I would have never guessed he'd get pneumonia in June. What is up with the sick season this year?

Being his mother, it was hard on me to not be able to see him. I didn't want him up here if he was sick, and I was no help with advising on what to do for him. Can you say helpless? And, poor Chris is sick, too. He's staying away from Coy (he wore a mask today) because we have no idea if Coy got Chris sick or if Chris's illness is a totally different bug that Coy should NOT be exposed to. So, Chris, Grandpa K, & Grandpa C spent their Father's Day in the ER. I think we're blessed to have a few good men in our lives!

Anyway, I worked myself up in such a tizzy that on Friday I began having lots of irritability and contractions. I know, not good when I'm already 70% effaced. So, to stop that (after a few extra doses of terbutaline didn't do the trick) I got a shot of Demerol/phenergan (yep, that's what they give for contractions), and it totally knocked me out. That stuff is serious and made me so grouchy the next day. I have been doing better since, just trying to relax as much as possible. It was scary for me to think that I could have a baby alone--Chris is sick, Coy is sick, my doctor is out of town, parents were out of town, and Grandparents K were taking care of sick Coy. Aghh...how your mind can wonder at times.

I'm praying and thankful for everyday I stay pregnant. Each day Cydney is cooking, she's getting stronger and stronger. I am hoping for at least a few more weeks.

And, after all this is over, this is where you'll find all of us...

...aghh, at least I can dream about it, right?

please pray

If you have read my twitter updates, you know that Coy was diagnosed with the early stages of pneumonia on Friday. He was started on an antibiotic and seemed to be getting better. However, his pulse ox is showing his sats are from the mid 80s to mid 90s. Chris is also sick. Kathy is bringing Coy to the ER. Please pray. I feel so helpless and am trying to not stress out for Cydney's sake. This has been a rough week to say the least.

Happy Father's Day!

Coy and Cydney are blessed to have Chris as their daddy, and I'm blessed to have Chris as my husband. He works so hard to provide for us, takes care of us emotionally and physically. He was there for all 104 days of Coy's NICU stay, and he's been here for all 11 weeks of my hospitalization. He loves us unconditionally, keeps us protected and supported. We love you Daddy! Happy Father's Day!

staying put for now

It looks like I'm here for the long haul. My doctor was NOT impressed with my cervix. His exact words were, "There's not much left and her head is right there." I'm still not dilated at all which is the good news. He said that he wouldn't be comfortable sending me home with my history of a previous classical c-section.

So, that's that. Pray that I have at least 4 more weeks left and that my cerclage holds tight. He didn't say delivery was imminent, he just didn't want me at home. After being here for 10 weeks already, 5 weeks & 5 days doesn't seem like that much longer to go.

And, please pray for Coy, too. He's still not feeling good. He has a bad cough and is just not himself. I haven't seen him since Sunday and I'm missing him like crazy.

Thanks for all your love & prayers!

the BIG 3-0 (almost)

I am writing this a day early....with a few updates and needing some prayers...

First the update on Coy...

• Thanks so much for all your prayers in preparation for his circumcision surgery! However, his surgery for tomorrow (Wednesday) is cancelled due to a fever/cough he got on Monday morning. He's feeling fine today. He still has a low grade fever, but I could hear him giggling and laughing this morning on the phone. They wont do surgery with any recent illness, so we are now looking at sometime after September for the surgery. I was really wanting to get it over with because I had mentally prepared for it to happen, but honestly, I'm relieved that he wont be having it tomorrow. It wasn't meant to be this week and I trust God is in control over this. =)

Now update on me/Cydney...

• Yesterday on the monitor, Cydney's heart rate had a 'decel' so....
• I had a biophysical profile done today...basically it's an ultrasound that measures her movements, fluid levels, etc. They scored her and she passed the test with flying colors...8/8!
• My doctor is coming in tomorrow (Wednesday) to check my cervix....if nothings changed and he feels confident, he's going to send me home. I am excited if this happens, but am not letting myself be disappointed if it doesn't. He said if I do get to go, he would make me promise to not 'do anything' and stay in bed. I promise, I promise, I promise and pinky swear too.
• ...and we're 6 hours away from 3-0 weeks. I'm not counting my chicks before they hatch, but we're oh, so close. Praise God!

I'll keep you posted on the "plan" for tomorrow....pray that God guides us in the right direction!

short & sweet

Well, here we are, at 29w4d, still pregnant! Thanks be to God!

Things are all pretty much the same and we're taking it day by day. The terb pump is working great. I think the medicine is actually helping quite a bit. I've been having less contractions and irritability lately...which is really nice. I had one day where things were pretty calm all day. It was funny for me to think that is what most pregnancies feel like. I felt like I could get up and jog or something. Or you know, walk around maybe. =)

I guess something has changed, though....my appetite! I get really hungry these days--it's crazy! And, my sweet tooth (sorry Vicky) is getting worse! I am CRAVING Blue Bell Vanilla ice cream all the time. Thank goodness they sell it downstairs!

I'm trying to enjoy every little thing about this pregnancy & 'being pregnant.' I'm very excited to meet my girl, but at the same time, I know that these days are very special. I know I have 6 more weeks at the most...and I am praying for all of them!

Thanks for your continued love & support. It means the world to us!

I'll leave you with these pictures of Coy trying to tip over his stroller today. Exciting, I know, but it's all I've got. He loves to either climb up his stroller, push it, or throw it over. Who needs toys when you have a stroller?

another random update

I am so thrilled to be 29 weeks pregnant! It seems surreal and is such a different experience than the first time around. I am not ready to have this baby by any means, but no longer being in 'micropreemie' territory (23-27 weeks, under 2 lbs) really brings me some relief.

Now, I am still striving for as close to term as possible (I will not go past 36 weeks due to my classical uterine incision), but every day is a gift and I'll take each and every one of them. Believe it or not, I even count the hours. My favorite times of the day are waking up in the morning and going to bed at night; another day here, another one down. I am enjoying being with Cydney during the daytime too, but something about each sunrise and every sundown lifts my spirits andd allows me to breathe alittle easier.

Today, my doctor came in and gave me a big high-five, said he was proud of me, and told me he was thinking about sending me home sometime next week. I'm almost hesitant to say anything because he did say, "I'm not promising anything, but if nothing changes, it's a strong possibility." Whew, that would be a big decision to make...I'll be thinking and praying that God will lead us in the right direction. Will you pray with us?

I received another round of betamethasone (steroid injection to help mature the lungs) today. When I got the first round at 23 weeks, my doctor mentioned I would receive another round at 29 weeks. At that time, 29 weeks almost seemed an eternity away, an improbability. I am so thankful to be here. Have I mentioned that before?

Last night, Chris brought me Pei Wei for dinner (it's really good if you have never been there). My 'fortune' cookie made us laugh. It read, "A solid challenge will bring forth your finest abilities." I don't think my 'finest' ability is carrying babies; at this point I'd have to say I stink at it. I am really good at bed rest, though....does that count as a 'finer' ability? =)

And finally, Coy is schedule in one week from today for circumcision/possible hydrocele surgery. It will be done in the same hospital I'm in, so of course, I'll be wheeled down and stay with him the whole time. We've known he needed this for some time, and we can't put it off any longer. It's been scheduled since before I was on bed rest/in the hospital, and unfortunately, this was the first availability they had. No, it's not an emergency or anything, but due to his age, we really have to get it done or leave it alone. He's getting to a point where he's aware of his body (if you know what I mean) and we don't think we should wait any longer.

I am so scared for him to go back on a ventilator (they have to put him all the way under). I know his lungs are MUCH stronger now than when he was a 'baby', but still, I wish he didn't have to be intubated again. Will you please start to pray this surgery goes well (it's only suppose to last 30 min-1 hour at the most and he should be going home that same day) and Coy has no issues at all with the ventilator? I will feel better knowing that y'all are praying one week in advance!

As always, thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, comments, emails, & cards! We are so blessed by you.

Oh, and I forgot to mention...I went outside last weekend! And, can I say, that being outside in Houston is WAY overrated in June. It was HOT. Although it was nice to get some sunshine and breath fresh air, I think I'm liking the AC in my room just fine. =)

a little of everything

On Thursday, I was (finally) taken off the mag and started on a terbuatline pump. The catheter is in my thigh, in the subcutaneous tissue, and there is a tiny tubing that is connected to a pump. The pump looks like a cell phone and it's attached to my pants. Overall, it's MUCH better than being connected to an IV and it doesn't hurt at all. The site has to be changed every 5 days, but hey, that's nothing compared to all the IVs. So far, the terbutaline is working. I am still contracting, but not quite as much, and having irritation to my uterus. We know it's not normal, but it's 'my normal', and that what they're really watching. The key to the puzzle is the cervix...as long as the contractions haven't caused dilation, we're doing good. And so far (*knock on wood*), I'm still closed.

Everything else is pretty much the same. Cydney is moving like crazy and kicking me all the time. It's also really cool to feel her get the hiccups! She hiccups for 5-15 minutes at least twice per day. I felt it for the first time at 26 weeks and knew instantly what it was. Two weeks later, I still put my hand on my belly every time to feel it. I love it. I am cherishing every movement, kick, hiccup--life is truly a miracle.

I searched the internet high & low for Cydney's bedding and furniture. I finally settled on this for her bedding (the fabric looks faded in this picture for some reason)...

and this for her crib...
I'm really excited to have that ordered and on it's way. Of course, it'll be a few weeks before it comes in, but at least it's taken care of!

As far as Coy goes, he's taking steps on his own now! He started standing up all by himself this past week, then began taking a few steps at a time. He took 5 steps last night! His therapist says it'll only be a few weeks before he's taken off! He is a ball of energy and I'm going to be chasing after him like crazy!

Thanks so much for all your love & support. Also, thanks for all the advice on the double strollers! I think I'm leaning towards the Double BOB right now...I am going to send Chris to test drive it first though. Or, maybe I'll send my sister or sister-in-laws...I think I trust their stroller opinions more than his! =)

Praying and praising for 29 weeks! Hope everyone has a great Monday!

summer treat...

I will update more tomorrow (at 28w4d!), but tonight I wanted to share my first born enjoying a treat....

He LOVES Popsicles! I think he got his momma's sweet tooth!

Good news!

I have good news to report today....

• my fFN was NEGATIVE again!


• I am getting a terbutaline pump today!


• and, the best news of all....Cydney is weighing in at 2 lbs 6 oz!

I had my growth scan this morning and was just praying she was over 2lbs. I couldn't believe it when the tech said she was 2 lbs 6 oz! It's insane that she is (almost) double Coy's birth weight. Thank you God!

I am also so thankful my fFN was negative again. That's a really good thing! Now, if you could just pray that I stay free of infections...I had another UTI this week. Not fun!

And, since I'm 28 weeks today, my doctor feels comfortable changing me to the terbutaline pump. If it doesn't work, we can always go back to the mag, but I am excited I will be IV free for the first time in 8 weeks!

Here are two belly pics as promised...not looking too hot, but that's what 8 weeks in a hospital will do for ya! =) Besides that, I don't really care as long as I have a healthy girl!