making a move

I decided it was time to start a new blog. I love what this blog has been for us (a community, prayer support, love, kindness, encouragement) and that it has offered hope to those who have been in our shoes. Prayforcoy will stay just like it is...I would never want to take it down or make it private. After Coy's birth and hearing the grim statistics, one of the first things I did was 'google' 23 weekers. And, I found the blog of Ryan (linked on the left). It gave me that hope that Coy could survive, could thrive against the horrible odds.

Lately, I have wanted to blog more but had trouble motivating myself to do so. I thought if we had a new 'family' site, I would write more to keep better record of our daily happenings. Not that we're exciting or anything, but if you want to keep up with us still, then you'll find us now at

thekolkhorstfamily.blogspot.com.

So, like I said, I'll be posting over there from now on. It's just a simple template with my thoughts and pictures and stuff. I hope that doesn't mess things up too much for y'all. We're still humbled and so thankful for all your love and support. It means the world to us.

picture post

cydney loves her daddy

look who's sitting up now!

can you feel the love?

bows by big brother

Thanks for all the encouraging comments after my last post.  The support from the preemie blog community is amazing and so helpful to us!  We sincerely appreciate your words, suggestions, and advice. 

preschool and SID.

Terrified of 'exposing' Coy to excessive or unwanted germs, we have thought little about putting him into a MDO/preschool program.  The thought of Coy in an environment with group toys, snotty noses, and accidently shared sippy cups was enough to send me into a panic.  However, in the past few months, I've come to the conclusion that I can't live 'in fear'...constantly worried about him getting sick or what would happen if ______ .  And, knock on wood, it seems as though the less I've tried to 'control' things, the healthier he's been. 


Of course, I'm not saying that I knowingly bring him around sick people or don't clean his hands or just quit being sanitary.  No way, Jose!  But I do believe he needs the social interaction of his peers, he needs to be around kids his age.  There is no doubt in my mind that I have some PTSD-effect related to Coy's NICU and my hospitalization that contributes to my hyper-sensitivity of 'germs'.  I am not the innocent mom whose thinking is "nothing bad will happen to my child".  But I do trust in God and I do know that he didn't give us this miracle child to hide him away from the world and live in constant fear and worry. 

With the help of great therapists and physicians, it has become more and more apparent to us that Coy does have some level of Sensory Integration Dysfunction.  Basically, his brain has trouble processing all the stimuli that he's exposed to every second of the day.  The symptoms can be much like that of a child with ADHD (hyperactive, unable to focus).  I recently read that SID has been labeled the 'hidden disability' because until it is diagnosed, kids seem as though they are badly disobedient.  Effects of SID include doing poorly in school, having low self esteem, emotional problems, and social isolation.  Of course as parents, we hear that and want to do everything possible to avoid the bad outcomes and give Coy every advantage we can. 

One of the reasons we've decided that a MDO/preschool program would be beneficial is due to Coy's delayed speech development.  He does say some words and is making progress, but he does have difficutly with his motor planning.  If we ask him to repeat a new word, he'll stare at our lips and then in frustration he'll scream or say 'dada'.  The problem is not that he doesn't understand what he just heard....his comprehension is spot on.  The problem is that he can't figure out how to repeat what he just heard.  Along with weekly Speech therapy, we're hoping that attending a MDO program will help his language development.  Being enrolled in MDO will also (hopefully) help us be prepared for adjustments that we'll need to make to get him ready for Kindergarten...i.e, sit in the front of the room, walk in the front of the line, special education, etc.   

So, where I was going with this whole post was that I recently toured a preschool program and thought it was a great school.  I am asking God to lead me to the right school for Coy...one that will understand his needs and help him thrive.  SID is not a well known nor well understood disorder by many....and my concern is that he will be over-looked or misunderstood.  It will probably kill me to drop him off the first couple weeks, but I know that I can't and wont be able to protect him his entire life (although I will be trying to, I'm sure).  Chris and I have had converstaions about this and he heard a great quote recently that stuck with me, "You can't prepare the path for the child, but you can prepare the child for the path."  Very true. 

And I know that ALL children develop at different rates and levels.  And I do appreciate the kindness is behind the stories such as, "my kid didn't speak until 3" or "don't worry, he's normal hyperactive 2 year old."  Unfortuantely, we can't sit back and wait and see if he is or is not 'normal'.  We have to be aggressive and proactive as much as possible.  But I do sincerely appreciate the love that you blanket us with to keep us from worrying or freaking out. 

Now, I'm still learning all about SID and if I've misspoken about anything, feel free to correct me.  I'm trying to take in all the info I can.  I feel very thankful that Coy has the best OT (occupational therapist) and works very hard for him.  She has been a blessing in our lives and I'm confident that she'll help Coy deal/overcome this challenge. 

Thanks for all your continued love, support, and prayers.

time flies by

I can't believe that my sweet baby angel is now 6 months old.  Can you? I have no idea where the time has gone; it seems like just yesterday she was born.  I keep saying that before we know it, she'll be leaving for college, getting married, and having kids of her own.  Just thinking about it makes me teary.  This parenting thing is a tough one, I tell ya. 

(Isn't she beautiful?)

Life has been great.  We are on the go, as always, but have days of just staying home, playing, and relaxing.  Coy started gymanstics two weeks ago and absolutely loves it.  It's great for his sensory issues, gross motor skills, and vision reflex.  He is trying to 'jump' now and it's precious.  Although he doesn't actually come off the ground, he does all the motions. 

(He's in the block foam pit.)

Coy had his first haircut yesterday.  He did awesome, surprisingly.  I was prepared for a fit of sorts, but he really didn't do much of anything.  Well, he did have a lollipop, so we did some bribing.  It worked like a charm!  =)

Our babies are so precious.  We are so grateful for them.  Life is so short and it goes by so fast.  We're trying to live each day cherishing all the small things, the sweet moments, and each other. 

just a few pictures...

He looks mad, but he was actually really excited....

...that it's 2010!  Happy New Year!

life lately.

Let's see...where do I start? 

It's been so long since I've updated.  I've been battling "blogger's block"---I have not been able to put together a post to save my life.  Also, it doesn't help that the only hours I actually have time to sit and blog are late ones...and I usually just give up and go to sleep.

So, here goes nothing...

We had a very blessed and merry Christmas.  Our families are amazing and we had many Christmas celebrations to attend.  I feel like we were literally on a schedule from Wednesday-Saturday.  That is not easy to keep with two kids...2 & under.  But we survived and are so thankful for the time we were able to spend with our loved ones.  We were also proud to finally be able to bring Coy to all of our family functions.  It's so nice to see him play and have fun with other kids and interact with everyone.  Of course, we still have to be careful with him, but we know that living in a bubble is not possible nor fun. =) 

Coy has been doing amazingly well and seems to be growing up everyday.  He makes us laugh so much.  Santa brought him a Step2 Kitchen and I don't think he's stopped 'cooking' since.  He loves it and it's so much fun to watch.  He's always been a fan of pots/pans/bowls/kitchen utensils that I thought he would like it.

He is so smart...we are amazed at some of the things he does and understands.  He will follow our 'commands' and do what we ask of him (most of the time).  He's still not as verbal as we'd hope, but he's definitely making progress.  He seems to be learning new words/sounds every day or two.  He really is trying hard at speech, and I'm confident one day it'll click for him. 

He continues to attend ST once weekly, OT every other week, and PT monthly.  For a couple months now, his OT & PT have noticed a hesitancy to be on an 'uneven' surface, walk down stairs, etc.  I had noticed at the park he did not want to stand up on the higher surfaces.  It was as though he was afraid of heights.  This lead his therapist to question whether his eyes were functioning together...and whether his brain was accurately perceiving what he was seeing.  So, we were referred to a Vision therapist for further evaluation.

He's been twice to VT and we found out Coy's VOR (vestibulo-ocular reflex) on the vertical axis needs developing.  In other words, we need to be working with him to look at objects higher than his eye-level.  People without this reflex have difficulty with spacial awareness, i.e. they are off balance, stumble, fall often, have trouble reading, poor drivers.  On his 'bad days' Coy will walk with his arms out (he's trying to balance himself and find his center of gravity) and will trip and fall over things on the floor.  The degree of symptoms vary greatly on how he's feeling, if he's well rested, over stimulated, congested, etc---and most days he does just fine.  We will continue to see the VT once monthly for evaluations. 

Other than that, he's just a normal, energetic kid who loves to play.  He is so affectionate and sweet.  I think he gives me 10 kisses a day and his sister gets 20!  Oh, and daddy gets a few too!  We love it!

Cydney is our little 'Gerber' baby and I can't believe she's already 5 months old.  The time has flown by!  She is rolling over, laughing, cooing, smiling, and kinda prop sitting.  She weighs just over 15 lbs already and loves to eat.  I love her rolls and everything else about her.  She is the prettiest girl in the world to me and I can't believe how blessed we are to have her.  I look at her sometimes and just can't get enough.  It is almost still not real that we have her and God carried us through our incredible difficult pregnancy.  Blessed, we are. 

I can't think of anything else for now....I'm sure that's plenty to comprehend in one night anyway! =)  We still feel so blessed to have you all part of our lives! 

Merry Christmas!

Just wanted to make a quick post and wish a Merry Christmas to all of you!  We are so thankful for all of our blessings this Christmas and are really cherishing this time together.  We hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas full of love, peace, and joy!