pray for coy...& cydney, too!

making a move

2010-02-03T22:33:00.004-06:00

I decided it was time to start a new blog. I love what this blog has been for us (a community, prayer support, love, kindness, encouragement) and that it has offered hope to those who have been in our shoes. Prayforcoy will stay just like it is...I would never want to take it down or make it private. After Coy's birth and hearing the grim statistics, one of the first things I did was 'google' 23 weekers. And, I found the blog of Ryan (linked on the left). It gave me that hope that Coy could survive, could thrive against the horrible odds.

Lately, I have wanted to blog more but had trouble motivating myself to do so. I thought if we had a new 'family' site, I would write more to keep better record of our daily happenings. Not that we're exciting or anything, but if you want to keep up with us still, then you'll find us now at

thekolkhorstfamily.blogspot.com.

So, like I said, I'll be posting over there from now on. It's just a simple template with my thoughts and pictures and stuff. I hope that doesn't mess things up too much for y'all. We're still humbled and so thankful for all your love and support. It means the world to us.

picture post

2010-01-31T22:59:00.002-06:00

cydney loves her daddy

look who's sitting up now!

can you feel the love?

bows by big brother

Thanks for all the encouraging comments after my last post. The support from the preemie blog community is amazing and so helpful to us! We sincerely appreciate your words, suggestions, and advice.

preschool and SID.

2010-01-28T00:10:00.002-06:00

Terrified of 'exposing' Coy to excessive or unwanted germs, we have thought little about putting him into a MDO/preschool program.  The thought of Coy in an environment with group toys, snotty noses, and accidently shared sippy cups was enough to send me into a panic.  However, in the past few months, I've come to the conclusion that I can't live 'in fear'...constantly worried about him getting sick or what would happen if ______ . And, knock on wood, it seems as though the less I've tried to 'control' things, the healthier he's been.

Of course, I'm not saying that I knowingly bring him around sick people or don't clean his hands or just quit being sanitary. No way, Jose! But I do believe he needs the social interaction of his peers, he needs to be around kids his age.  There is no doubt in my mind that I have some PTSD-effect related to Coy's NICU and my hospitalization that contributes to my hyper-sensitivity of 'germs'. I am not the innocent mom whose thinking is "nothing bad will happen to my child". But I do trust in God and I do know that he didn't give us this miracle child to hide him away from the world and live in constant fear and worry.

With the help of great therapists and physicians, it has become more and more apparent to us that Coy does have some level of Sensory Integration Dysfunction. Basically, his brain has trouble processing all the stimuli that he's exposed to every second of the day. The symptoms can be much like that of a child with ADHD (hyperactive, unable to focus).  I recently read that SID has been labeled the 'hidden disability' because until it is diagnosed, kids seem as though they are badly disobedient. Effects of SID include doing poorly in school, having low self esteem, emotional problems, and social isolation. Of course as parents, we hear that and want to do everything possible to avoid the bad outcomes and give Coy every advantage we can.

One of the reasons we've decided that a MDO/preschool program would be beneficial is due to Coy's delayed speech development. He does say some words and is making progress, but he does have difficutly with his motor planning.  If we ask him to repeat a new word, he'll stare at our lips and then in frustration he'll scream or say 'dada'. The problem is not that he doesn't understand what he just heard....his comprehension is spot on. The problem is that he can't figure out how to repeat what he just heard.  Along with weekly Speech therapy, we're hoping that attending a MDO program will help his language development.  Being enrolled in MDO will also (hopefully) help us be prepared for adjustments that we'll need to make to get him ready for Kindergarten...i.e, sit in the front of the room, walk in the front of the line, special education, etc.

So, where I was going with this whole post was that I recently toured a preschool program and thought it was a great school. I am asking God to lead me to the right school for Coy...one that will understand his needs and help him thrive. SID is not a well known nor well understood disorder by many....and my concern is that he will be over-looked or misunderstood. It will probably kill me to drop him off the first couple weeks, but I know that I can't and wont be able to protect him his entire life (although I will be trying to, I'm sure). Chris and I have had converstaions about this and he heard a great quote recently that stuck with me, "You can't prepare the path for the child, but you can prepare the child for the path." Very true.

And I know that ALL children develop at different rates and levels. And I do appreciate the kindness is behind the stories such as, "my kid didn't speak until 3" or "don't worry, he's normal hyperactive 2 year old."  Unfortuantely, we can't sit back and wait and see if he is or is not 'normal'. We have to be aggressive and proactive as much as possible.  But I do sincerely appreciate the love that you blanket us with to keep us from worrying or freaking out.

Now, I'm still learning all about SID and if I've misspoken about anything, feel free to correct me. I'm trying to take in all the info I can. I feel very thankful that Coy has the best OT (occupational therapist) and works very hard for him. She has been a blessing in our lives and I'm confident that she'll help Coy deal/overcome this challenge.

Thanks for all your continued love, support, and prayers.

time flies by

2010-01-17T22:01:00.000-06:00

I can't believe that my sweet baby angel is now 6 months old. Can you? I have no idea where the time has gone; it seems like just yesterday she was born. I keep saying that before we know it, she'll be leaving for college, getting married, and having kids of her own. Just thinking about it makes me teary. This parenting thing is a tough one, I tell ya.

(Isn't she beautiful?)

Life has been great. We are on the go, as always, but have days of just staying home, playing, and relaxing. Coy started gymanstics two weeks ago and absolutely loves it. It's great for his sensory issues, gross motor skills, and vision reflex. He is trying to 'jump' now and it's precious. Although he doesn't actually come off the ground, he does all the motions.

(He's in the block foam pit.)

Coy had his first haircut yesterday. He did awesome, surprisingly. I was prepared for a fit of sorts, but he really didn't do much of anything. Well, he did have a lollipop, so we did some bribing. It worked like a charm! =)

Our babies are so precious. We are so grateful for them. Life is so short and it goes by so fast. We're trying to live each day cherishing all the small things, the sweet moments, and each other.

just a few pictures...

2010-01-03T22:21:00.000-06:00

He looks mad, but he was actually really excited....

...that it's 2010! Happy New Year!

life lately.

2009-12-28T21:38:00.000-06:00

Let's see...where do I start?

It's been so long since I've updated. I've been battling "blogger's block"---I have not been able to put together a post to save my life. Also, it doesn't help that the only hours I actually have time to sit and blog are late ones...and I usually just give up and go to sleep.

So, here goes nothing...

We had a very blessed and merry Christmas. Our families are amazing and we had many Christmas celebrations to attend. I feel like we were literally on a schedule from Wednesday-Saturday. That is not easy to keep with two kids...2 & under. But we survived and are so thankful for the time we were able to spend with our loved ones. We were also proud to finally be able to bring Coy to all of our family functions. It's so nice to see him play and have fun with other kids and interact with everyone. Of course, we still have to be careful with him, but we know that living in a bubble is not possible nor fun. =)

Coy has been doing amazingly well and seems to be growing up everyday. He makes us laugh so much. Santa brought him a Step2 Kitchen and I don't think he's stopped 'cooking' since. He loves it and it's so much fun to watch. He's always been a fan of pots/pans/bowls/kitchen utensils that I thought he would like it.

He is so smart...we are amazed at some of the things he does and understands. He will follow our 'commands' and do what we ask of him (most of the time). He's still not as verbal as we'd hope, but he's definitely making progress. He seems to be learning new words/sounds every day or two. He really is trying hard at speech, and I'm confident one day it'll click for him.

He continues to attend ST once weekly, OT every other week, and PT monthly. For a couple months now, his OT & PT have noticed a hesitancy to be on an 'uneven' surface, walk down stairs, etc. I had noticed at the park he did not want to stand up on the higher surfaces. It was as though he was afraid of heights. This lead his therapist to question whether his eyes were functioning together...and whether his brain was accurately perceiving what he was seeing. So, we were referred to a Vision therapist for further evaluation.

He's been twice to VT and we found out Coy's VOR (vestibulo-ocular reflex) on the vertical axis needs developing. In other words, we need to be working with him to look at objects higher than his eye-level. People without this reflex have difficulty with spacial awareness, i.e. they are off balance, stumble, fall often, have trouble reading, poor drivers. On his 'bad days' Coy will walk with his arms out (he's trying to balance himself and find his center of gravity) and will trip and fall over things on the floor. The degree of symptoms vary greatly on how he's feeling, if he's well rested, over stimulated, congested, etc---and most days he does just fine. We will continue to see the VT once monthly for evaluations.

Other than that, he's just a normal, energetic kid who loves to play. He is so affectionate and sweet. I think he gives me 10 kisses a day and his sister gets 20! Oh, and daddy gets a few too! We love it!

Cydney is our little 'Gerber' baby and I can't believe she's already 5 months old. The time has flown by! She is rolling over, laughing, cooing, smiling, and kinda prop sitting. She weighs just over 15 lbs already and loves to eat. I love her rolls and everything else about her. She is the prettiest girl in the world to me and I can't believe how blessed we are to have her. I look at her sometimes and just can't get enough. It is almost still not real that we have her and God carried us through our incredible difficult pregnancy. Blessed, we are.

I can't think of anything else for now....I'm sure that's plenty to comprehend in one night anyway! =) We still feel so blessed to have you all part of our lives!

Merry Christmas!

2009-12-24T23:22:00.000-06:00

Just wanted to make a quick post and wish a Merry Christmas to all of you! We are so thankful for all of our blessings this Christmas and are really cherishing this time together. We hope all of you have a wonderful Christmas full of love, peace, and joy!

Happy 2nd Birthday Baby Boy!

2009-12-03T00:27:00.006-06:00

We can not believe our baby boy is now a toddler. A two year old. A happy and whole little man.

Two years ago today, we were told he would not be born alive. At only 23 weeks, he would not survive. It's hard to fathom the miracle that we have. A little boy so full of life, it's hard to keep up with him.

What a joy he is to so many. A loving son, grandson, big brother, nephew, cousin, and friend.  With always a smile on his face and kisses ready to give, he brightens the room wherever he is.

We celebrate today with happiness and tears.  We are so thankful for the past two years. He is more perfect than we could have ever dreamed. A miracle among us, or so it seems.

We thank you all for your part in our lives.  The support and prayer, love and care. You are part of this story and we will never forget. Humbled to the core that you love our little boy.

Forever we will know that our God is good. That miracles exist and angels live. What a reminder we have looking at Coy.

A two year old today, but forever and always our baby boy.

Happy Birthday Coy! We love you so much baby boy!

a new smile.

2009-11-25T23:16:00.001-06:00

He went from being a camera hog, to his no smile face, to now this....

...Of course, he's still more precious the words. =)

Four Months

2009-11-17T23:35:00.001-06:00

Happy 4 month Birthday baby girl!

Popsicle Bliss

2009-11-11T22:00:00.004-06:00

We had a busy morning and the afternoon quickly came around. I looked at the clock and realized it was 2pm...and that Coy hadn't eaten lunch. I said, "Oh my gosh, Momma is a bad Momma, I forgot your lunch Buddy." He cracked up like I had never seen before.

So, after lunch we went outside to have a popsicle. I was trying to take pictures, but of course, I was getting the 'no smile' face. I wondered if he was really laughing at me earlier...so I said it again, "Momma is a bad Momma." Sure enough, the following laughing fit ensued.

Oh, boy.

Halloween

2009-11-01T22:53:00.006-06:00

Hello, hello! We're still here, I promise!

We have been doing awesome and seem as busy as ever. I had no idea two kids was so much more busy than one. Cydney really is such a good baby though...she loves to eat, loves to sleep, and loves to smile. She is still struggling with some reflux, but really is such an easy baby (knock on wood). For the past few weeks, I've been trying to keep her on a schedule which seems to be working out. She started sleeping through *most* of the night a week or so ago, which makes life so much easier. She is about 12.5 lbs now and growing everyday.

Coy is starting to say more and more and his comprehension level has gone way up. He absolutely loves to read books...he brings them to me all day long. Just a few months ago, he wouldn't even sit still long enough to finish a book. Now, when I finish one he says "more". My limit is 3 times through---then I make him pick out a new story.

We are so blessed with our two little ones. I wish time would slow down some...they are both growing up so fast.

Now, some pics from Halloween...

We had a SUPERMAN!!!

And, a smiley pumpkin!!!

isn't she cute??

He refuses to look at the camera for pictures....so, I have so many of these kind of photos now....he use to be such a good picture taker... Before Trick or Treating, he fell asleep in his high chair...

playing outside a few days ago...i was trying to do everything to get him to smile...

nope, not gonna do it...
this is all you're getting lady... okay, here's a smile, but only because you promised a lollipop...

pictures and such

2009-10-18T22:47:00.006-05:00

Chris gave me a Nikon D60 for Christmas last year and I've been slowly trying to figure the thing out. I took a class last February, but obviously, didn't practice at all while in the hospital. But lately, I've had this obsession with taking good pictures. I love photography and looking at great pics. I'm fascinated and in awe of those amazing photographers who capture things so wonderfully on camera.

My poor kids are my test subjects. What better things to take pictures of though, right? And, the great part about digital photography is it doesn't cost anything to mess up (which I do a lot of)! I know it takes practice to get good at anything, so I've been really trying to make an effort at it. Anyway---here are some of the pictures I took of Coy & Cydney this past week.

Cousin Colby doing his "o" face

A little update on the kiddos...Coy is doing great. We are so proud and thankful of all the things he's doing these days. He's attempting new words all the time and has such a personality. He is still the sweetest big brother and would love (kisses & hugs) his sissy all day if I let him.

Cydney is now 3 months old and 11 lbs 8 oz. She is a girl who loves her milk and becoming more precious by the minute. I love, love, love the little rolls on her arms and legs. She is now smiling and started cooing too! It is so adorable. She also discovered how much fun the bouncy chair can be. I cracked up the first time I saw her so fixated on the flashing lights and kicking her legs all about. What a blessing she is to our family--she is such an answered prayer and we couldn't be more thankful.

We are doing our best at keeping everyone as healthy as possible. Unfortunately, that means staying away from some things and being aware of the health of those we're around. I hate that we can't bring them everywhere right now, but I know our efforts will be worth it. One day, I know we'll be able to let our guard down, but right now we feel its best to stay home as much as possible. We do make an occasional exception at times...like today we had a blast at the pumpkin patch. I'll post those pictures another day.

Thanks for your continued love to our family. We are so beyond blessed.

happy and home

2009-10-12T22:14:00.002-05:00

I should have updated this sooner...sorry for my tardiness. Sara (my SIL) is home and doing good. Babies are still cookin. She is taking it easy and hopefully will stay pregnant many more weeks. Please continue to pray for her! We are so appreciative!

prayer request & new photos

2009-10-05T22:16:00.006-05:00

I have yet to make this announcement on our blog: my brother & his wife are expecting twins in January. That's right, it'll be their SECOND set of twins. The first two, Thomas & Macey, will turn 2 this coming January. 4 kids in 2 years, crazy! And, NO, they were NOT using any sort of fertility drugs/treatment. It was actually a HUGE surprise both times they found out they were expecting. What are the odds, huh?

Anyway--please keep my sister in law in your prayers. She is currently 25w4d and was admitted into the hospital (the same one I spent 14 weeks in) after a fFN came back positive today at her routine appointment. She has been having more contractions than usual and will be monitored for the next few days. I cannot believe she is having to do the same thing I did. Please pray for her!

We are keeping the twins with us here tonight. We had three 2 year olds and a 2 month old. Whew. It was sorta like an assembly line during dinner & bath time.

I'll keep you updated when I know more information. I am praying she can make it to at LEAST 28 weeks. She carried Macey & Thomas to a few days shy of 36 weeks.

Here are a few pictures from our past week. We have been doing awesome. Cydney is now 10lbs 1oz. Coy has been talking more and more. His new words this week are bear and Grandma 'memaaw'. We are working hard at his speech and I hope one day he just 'explodes' with language!

brotherly kisses...

i get so excited to dress her everyday...it's so much fun to be a girl!

this was a few minutes after he woke up so happy from his nap...

prayer request

2009-09-28T21:31:00.003-05:00

Please keep our friends, Christen & Bill in your prayers; they lost beautiful twin girls last week at 21 weeks. Our hearts are broken for them.

Please also keep Baby Benjamin and Baby Chloe in your prayers. We have been so blessed to receive so much love through our blog; we wish that same support for all those who go through the NICU roller coaster. Benjamin's and Chloe's blogs are linked on the left side of the page.

"Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Matthew 19-20

still here!

2009-09-25T23:04:00.008-05:00

I can't believe Cydney is already over 2 months old. She is growing like a weed and is up to 9lb 5oz! She is such a joy and we're so thankful for her. She looks so much like Coy, but does have some of me in her too. =) She is starting to stay awake for longer periods of time and loves to look around.

Coy is loving his baby sister these days. He loves to give her kisses and loves to touch her. We were in the car the other day and I looked back to find him smiling at her and holding her hand. It was the sweetest thing ever.

Don't get me wrong, he still does stuff like this...

But I guess that's just part of being a big brother. =) >

He's so curious, loves to explore and figure things out, and has become quite the comedian lately. Everyday we find ourselves laughing at something he's done. I wish I could just freeze time some days and take it all in. I know he's going to be a 'big' boy one day and I will miss these moments so much. He's had an awesome week in OT, ST, & PT and I think he will be discharged from some of these soon.

I am really freaked out by all the rampant flu this year. I know that the flu kills people every year, but when I heard a 3 year old with CLD (chronic lung disease) passed away from H1N1 flu recently, it scared me half to death. I love how the media tries to reassure the public by saying, "The toddler had pre-existing health conditions"...that doesn't help the parents of those that actually have kids with 'pre-existing health conditions'. It is so important that we keep Coy as healthy as possible this winter. If I sound paranoid and slightly overprotective....it's because I am and I am unapologetic about that. We are waiting to see if he is approved for Synagis again...if not, will be appealing to our insurance company.

We so thankful for all your continued love, support, and prayers. I am VERY behind on Thank You notes...but I promise, I will get them all done! Sorry it has been so long since I updated....when I get a free second, I chose sleep over blogging! =)

Love to you all.

I love to dress Cydney up and take pictures of her...here are a few of my attempts of a 'photo shoot'. =)

I love this one...wishing I would have taken that pacifier out of her mouth...

cutest.baby.in.the.world.

Chris put his Ipod on him...he LOVED it. Just stood there and danced. It was hilarious.
our beauty.

life as a baby is so tiring...=)

new pics

2009-09-16T22:02:00.005-05:00

another tardy update

2009-09-10T22:15:00.005-05:00

I am going to make an attempt at a quick update while Chris, Coy, and Cydney are all asleep!

Coy is now made himself a permanent resident in our bed. I really love to snuggle with him,I'm not gonna lie, but I know he needs to make the move into his big boy bed soon. We are going to do it, but haven't yet. I gave up on the crib. It. Was. Not. Gonna. Happen. In the meantime, he's with us because he sleeps and therefore, we sleep. Praise Jesus and Hallelujah.

He has a few new tricks up his sleeve these days. He's learned how to turn on & off the water to our bathtub and turn on & off the TV in our living room. He loves to turn on the water in the bathtub, go into my closet, take the clothes off the shelf, and throw them into the tub. When I realized what he was doing, I put a stop to that very quickly, but then found him hunting other things to throw into the water. I really can't take my eyes off him for a second!

I was sitting on the couch feeding Cydney yesterday and Coy marched up to TV, reached up and pushed the power button. Oh my, did he like to push the button. About 15 times. He also loves to clap for himself after doing things...so he'd turn the TV on, clap, turn to look at me, turn the TV off, clap, turn to look at me. He does understand when I tell him 'No', although, he was way too into his new power to listen. Chris and I love to watch him learn and discover. He also blows kisses now...melts my heart.

Cydney is becoming a great eater and weighs 7lbs 12 oz. She is still nursing, but I do 'let' Chris give her a bottle at 3 am some nights so I can get some extra sleep. She is so adorable and we're loving her more and more everyday. She has the cutest little pouty cry and sticks her bottom lip out when she is demanding milk. She is our angel girl. Coy still has his moments where he's not fond of her, but for the most part, he is loving his little sissy too. Yesterday morning he woke up and the first thing he wanted to do was give her a kiss. It was so sweet.

Sorry that's all I got for now. I'm tired so I'm sure I'm leaving a lot out.
Here are a few pictures from this week.

giving sister a kiss..

playing with Cousin Thomas in the sandbox..

playing in his ball tent...

bubble bath!

he LOVES to read books...
sissy in her swing (again)..
he loves popsicles...he stole daddy's (the green one)...Instead of popsicles, I freeze the yogurt in the tube (the purple one) and he doesn't know the difference! =)

tardy update

2009-09-02T22:17:00.003-05:00

Wow, we've been busy...and I've had no time to blog! Sorry, sorry, sorry!

We are still doing awesome and I'm still enjoying my freedom. Coy is being a great big brother and loves to help mommy take care of Cydney. Yesterday he helped give her a bath (well, sort of) and he loves to go into her room. Of course, he takes all her blankets out of the drawer and throws them into the hallway, but hey, he still likes to go in there. =)

Coy is doing great in therapy and really developing. He is making more sounds and learning signs. His absolute favorite DVD is Signing Time---I think we watch it 15 times per day. He stands and dances to the songs; it's so precious. We are working hard at getting him to finish a 'task' (reading a book, playing with a toy, doing a puzzle) before moving on to another. We're also working on building his confidence and independence in therapy. He's been running over to me and wanting me to hold him during his sessions. For the past week, the therapists have me sit in a corner of the room and tell him to "go play" but I'm not suppose to say or do anything else. They say this gives him the 'okay' to go play and I'll be waiting for him when he's done. He's doing better and he actually went back to the playroom with the therapist all by himself last week---and I didn't hear any crying for about 15 minutes. Whoohoo, go Coy!

Our biggest challenge with him still remains the sleep issue. He has decided that he no longer wants to take a nap during the day and has mastered the skill of climbing out of the crib (twice). The therapist told me to change him to a toddler bed, however, he Pedi told me to buy a crib tent. Any advice? Anyone know how to get a 21 month old to sleep in their crib that they hate? Coy doesn't sleep all day and Cydney doesn't sleep at night---y'all I'm at the point that I think I will NEVER sleep again.

Cydney is still our little nocturnal baby. Although, she has been staying awake more during the day and looking around at her surroundings. She was started on Prevacid because her spit-up was hurting her---stiffness, screaming, then out would come the spit up. It's not much, but it was definitely hurting her. I've been nursing her since last week (with a few bottles here & there). I had just about given up on it because I was so use to just pumping and giving her a bottle, but my mom really pushed me to try it again. She's done great---latches on and eats for 20-30 minutes. It is hard for me to not know how much she's actually getting---but I guess she's getting enough because she falls asleep and wakes up 2-3 hours later to eat again. Also, she weighed 6lbs 12.5 oz yesterday---so she's gaining weight.

That's all I can think of for now. Here are a few pictures from the past week...

Thanks for all your love & prayers. We wouldn't be here without you.

Coy and his adorable friend and our neighbor, Chase...

Will, Chase, Chris, and Coy went to get there hunting licenses together... (Their shirts say "Daddy's Little Hunting Buddy")
Unloading my Tupperware drawer...

Cyd getting her bath...

First time to hold his sister...

Brotherly love...
giving kisses....after this picture was taken, he decided he had enough of her...=)

Wearing her first bow...

Snuggling with Great Grandpa

...and with Grandpa on his birthday...

pictures from the week

2009-08-24T21:43:00.005-05:00

We are still doing awesome. Cydney is up to 6lbs 7oz and becoming more precious by the day. Coy is still a wild man who keeps me on my toes. He's our big boy and we're so proud of him.

I promise a more thorough update soon, but here are a few pictures from our week...

Miss Cydney in her car seat
At a birthday party with daddy...he was a little chef and made a pizza

Before an afternoon swim, they took a nap...
Me with Cydney... I'm so white I actually blend in with the couch...I need some Vitamin D! =)
Playing with daddy...
When I see this face, I know something is up...Mr. Mischievous...
proud of himself and whatever it is he just did...=)
okay, please ignore me...just look at my two beautiful babies in their diapers...=)

One month

2009-08-17T21:44:00.007-05:00

Today Cydney is one month old! Here is my attempt at cute pictures. I absolutely can not get a good one for the life of me. =)

Life lately has been BUSY. Even when we stay home all day, I am constantly on the go chasing after Coy. He is one energetic little dude...I have no idea where it comes from. He has been having a few more "jealous" days where he does not want me to hold or feed his sister. Our biggest challenge with Coy right now is getting him to sleep at a decent hour in his own bed. We 'sleep trained' him once before earlier this year and he did awesome. He slept all night and liked being in his crib. But since his world was rocked with me going into the hospital, he's not been sleeping consistently in his own bed. And since we've been home, we've given in and let him sleep in our bed out of exhaustion. But, that has made for VERY long days for us since he's been going to sleep late and restless nights for everyone. We can not keep up that pace any longer. I know consistency is the key; I'm hopeful that he'll be sleeping better soon.

Cydney just eats and sleeps most of the day away. She is so sweet. The poor thing has reflux though---ugh, I hate it. She seems to be okay; she doesn't spit up a ton. And I am watching her closely to make sure she isn't hurting at all. I think the Gripe water helped some, but not much. I am praying she doesn't need medication and is a "happy spitter".

Chris and I are enjoying our time together and with our babies more than ever. We are so happy to be on to the next chapter of our lives. It feels so great to be home. I keep saying that because it's so true. After over 100 days straight in the hospital, home feels alittle bit like heaven on Earth. I love the weekends when we can go do things...we took both babies out to eat Friday night and went swimming at my parents house yesteday. Those are the things I dreamed about when lying in the hospital bed for so long. God is so good.

A few pictures from yesterday...Coy LOVED swimming...here he is with Grandpa C...
...and the water hose...
...Cydney ready for some milk...

new pics

2009-08-13T20:42:00.006-05:00

Here's our baby girl. We're doing good...just hanging out, enjoying life, and sleeping when we can! =)

this & that

2009-08-07T14:49:00.006-05:00

Score for Team Mommy---both babies are sleeping right now---time for a quick update!

We've been home for over a week now, and I'm happy to report that I'm still sane! It has definitely been an adjustment going from one kiddo to two, but it's not been too hard, really. I'm tired from feeding a newborn every few hours round the clock and chasing a 20 month old who never slows down, but all in all, it's been great.

Coy is having some jealousy/regression while he is getting use to his new sister in the house. But he's been very sweet with her as well. He loves to go over to her cradle and watch her sleep. He points to her and says "baby". When I'm holding and feeding Cydney, he is wanting me to hold him too. He looks at me and says "baba", meaning he wants a bottle too. Cousin Colby was over this week and Coy went right up to him, and pulled the pacifier out of his mouth and started sucking on it. I can't even tell you the last time he took a pacifier---over a year ago.

Because he's such a big boy now, Coy has his very own play room (aka our breakfast area). When Chris & I built our house a few years ago, we didn't think about a "room for all the toys that your children will accumulate in their first years of life." So, we decided to remove our kitchen table, and just let Coy take over that area. He loves it. I love it too because I can clean the kitchen and keep my eye on him as well.

Coy is talking all the time these days. He says baseball, baby, grandma, mommy, more, uh oh, lollipop, ball, bubbles, etc. He is such an adventurous and independent child. He will go in the backyard and explore, play in the sandbox, and dirt. I love that he's developing and growing up, although it makes me sad that he's no longer a baby.

Cydney had another Pediatrician appt today. She is 5lb 50z. Her doctor said her weight gain is okay, but wished she had gained an oz/day. Cydney is having some issues with reflux already. She has been spitting up more than I'd like and her tummy is distended at times. She is VERY gassy--I feel so bad for her sometimes. We are going to try Nursing Mom's Tea and Gripe Water to see if that will help at all. If not, the doctor said she could possibly need medications---which I don't want to do unless absolutely necessary.

She is such a good baby so far, although, she does have her days and nights mixed up. She is up eating every 2 hours at night, but I think she'd sleep all day if I let her. I have been nursing her about twice per day and she is doing better. She will latch on and suck for about 10 minutes before passing out again. I wake her back up, but she will usually not latch on again. So, we supplement with a bottle afterwards. I think she'll get the hang of it eventually! Chris really hopes so! =)

Speaking of Chris, he's been such a great help with both kids. He gets up at night to feed Cydney, bathes Coy, runs errands I need done, etc. He's been amazing and we're so blessed to have such a supportive husband/father!

That's all I can think of for now...we are so overwhelmed by all your love & support. God is so good and we are so grateful. Please continue to pray for our little miracles...

Here are a few new pictures and two videos...

No pictures of Cydney this time....she doesn't like the flash on the camera...

Coy's new "play room"...

just a few pics

2009-08-04T21:03:00.005-05:00

I'm too tired to make a real update, but here are a few new pictures. Everyone is doing great! Thanks for your continued prayers, love, & support!

before her bath...
loves the swing...
precious princess...
big brother is 'regressing' a bit--- a paci? he hasn't wanted one of those in over a year...
playing in his sandbox...

new favorite toy---any kitchen utensils he can find!

bath time---with leftover spaghetti sauce on his face!

so happy...

home sweet home

2009-08-01T15:46:00.000-05:00

I can't even explain how nice it is to finally be home....with both our babies! We are tired, but doing great. Everyone seems to be adjusting to life with our family of four.

Coy is very curious about his "sissy"--he has to help change her diapers, and every time Cydney gets a baba, he wants one too. He his very sweet with her, but tends to get rough at times. Remember his favorite toy--the baseball bat---not such a good idea now.

Cydney is doing fantastic as well. She had her first pediatrician appt yesterday. She weighed in at a hefty 5lbs even. The little piglet gained 4 oz in 2 days. She's been a great eater at home. She does have her days and nights confused, but hopefully, we'll break that habit soon. She tends to wake up every 2 hours at night to eat, but will go 3 hours during the day. We go back to the doctor next Friday for another weight check.

Life with two kiddos is definitely busy. For all those moms who have more than that---God bless you! Thank goodness I've had lots of great help! My mom came along to the doctor yesterday (we had Coy too!) and I don't think I could have done it without her. Coy was all over the place! At this point, Cydney is a piece of cake. Eat, sleep, repeat. Coy on the other hand--he'll give anyone a run for their money!

Thanks again for all your love, support, and prayers. To say being at home feels surreal is an understatement. On the car ride from the hospital, I couldn't stop sobbing. It was like a flood gate opened and I just let it all out. All the worry, stress, fatigue, and relief--I was so thankful that a new chapter of our lives was beginning.

Here are some pics from the past few days....

After running through the sprinklers, we wanted to play in the baby playmat..

He loves golf clubs and baseball bats...oh boy!

We are so blessed! Love to you all.

Surprise....

2009-07-29T22:23:00.009-05:00

....we're home!!!

More details later, but here are a few pics of our little angel busting out of the NICU today!

We can not express how thankful we are to all of you for your continued love, support, and prayer for our family during these past two years. We are so blessed. We are home, doing great, and just enjoying our family of four. God is so good!

pictures

2009-07-27T22:16:00.003-05:00

Here's our angel tube & tape free! Whoohoo! If she keeps it up, we'll be out of here soon! Please pray for Cydney to continue to eat well and gain weight!

update

2009-07-26T22:42:00.003-05:00

Isn't she pretty? I can't wait to get that tube out of her nose and tape off her face! I keep telling her that if she eats, the tube comes out and we go home! =)
So, we're still here in the NICU. I would be lying if I said I'm not sick of this hospital already. I've spent almost 16 weeks here now. I think it's time to go when half of the hospital staff knows your family and story. =)

Cydney is trucking right along. She has been nursing well the past two days and today finished two bottles off. I am experimenting with which feeding method will get us out of here fastest. Right now, I'm thinking the bottles are the better option for discharge. She can breastfeed and does well with it, but tires out faster and therefore, doesn't take as much. Good news is she's gaining weight and back at her birth weight *almost*. As soon as she can prove to take all 8 feedings by mouth and continue to gain weight, we'll be outta here!

She has labs ordered for the morning---I am praying her glucose and bilirubin levels are still stable. She looks jaundice to me, but I think it's because I'm comparing her to my ghostly white, hasn't seen sun in 4.5 months skin. Next to everyone else, she looks normal. =)

Not much else to report...just hoping to be outta here by the weekend. Please pray for continued progress and discharge soon! Can you tell that I'm ready to go home already?

fatigued but thankful

2009-07-24T17:39:00.005-05:00

First, here are some pictures of our princess...

(This was the first time I really saw her open her eyes...)

I think she looks like Coy...

Sleeping sweetly....
These are the best I can do for now (from my iphone)...since my computer here is cheap and I don't have the photo program I need to get the pictures off my camera.

Second, Cydney is doing great and we're making progress to get home everyday. The only thing keeping us here as of now is feeding. She needs to either be breastfeeding or bottle feeding 8 times per day. Right now, we can try either/or 3 times daily. Yesterday, she nursed like a champ (at one feeding) and didn't need any more milk put down her tube (the ugly thing that is sticking out of her mouth/nose).

Today, however, she was not at all interested in the boob. They say that's typical preemie behavior---to be inconsistent. She took 1/2 of the bottle twice today--which isn't great, but it's better than nothing. I was wanting to exclusively nurse her, but if bottle feeding gets us out the door faster, I will work on the nursing at home! She has one more try tonight and I think I'll offer the bottle first to see how she does. Hopefully, she'll finish it! The good news is she's getting breast milk either way.

She was taken off her pulse oximeter today---awesome! I tend to have 'monitor psychosis' where I find myself staring at her numbers all day (and night). She was perfect with her oxygen sats and I loved seeing that (she stopped having those desat spells she was having the first few days). But, it's even better to know her doctor thinks she doesn't even need to be monitored anymore! Whoohoo--that's one less thing for me to analyze and obsess over.

Also, her glucose levels were stable two nights ago, so we were able to discontinue the IV and fluids. I was so happy about that. Her bilirubin levels have been stable as well.

Needless to say with a newborn, I am growing weary and tired. I don't think I've had over 2 hours consistent sleep in the past week. I love that I can stay here with her, but it's not the most comfortable place to sleep. It also doesn't help my energy level that I was laying down for 4 months straight. But, I am adjusting and waiting patiently on the Lord's timing for Cydney to come home. I am missing Coy so much and can't wait to be back at home with him too. I was able to see him today and we laughed and laughed. He is so much fun and I can't wait to see how great of a big brother he is going to be.

Please pray for Cydney to eat like a champ, for no bradycardic episodes, for her glucose levels to remain stable, for our strength and endurance during this last leg of our 'hospital life', for Cydney to grow and get strong, and for Coy to be well adjusted when everything turns back to normal for us.

We are so blessed to have your continued love and support.

Update on Cydney

2009-07-22T22:18:00.002-05:00

On Tuesday, Cydney was moved to Level 2 NICU. This was such an answered prayer because I was being discharged from my room and was going to have to leave her here in the hospital. The great thing about where we're at now is that they have private rooms (although tiny) and there is a small bed I can sleep in next to her. I remember that heart ache I felt when I had to leave Coy in the hospital and I just could not imagine having to do that again.

So, we're settled into our new room and working towards getting her home. She is still breathing all on her own and doing great. Her IV fluids were just stopped and if her glucose levels are stable, she will remain IV free. She was under the bili lights yesterday due to jaundice, but today that was stopped too. She does look a bit jaundiced to me tonight, so we'll see what her level is at this morning when they check it.

We also were able to try nursing today for the first time. She did great for her first attempt according to the Lactation specialist. Right now, her order is for once a day breast/bottle feeding, but that should be increased as Cydney gets the hang of it. The doctor said tonight that she was looking fantastic and to get her out of here, we just need her eating. She said she estimates a week or so before we are on our way home. She has a great suck and absolutely loves her pacifier, wakes up screaming and rooting---so hopefully she picks up nursing quickly!

For the first time in 15 weeks, I went home today for a few hours. It was surreal to ride in a car again, be in the free world, walk into my house, lay in my bed, and use my shower, etc. I've missed all the little things so much. Grandma K was at the hospital cuddling with Cydney, so I felt comfortable being away from her for a few hours. I also was able to spend time with Coy and I've missed my precious boy to pieces. He had the biggest smile on his face on the ride home and held my hand. I can not wait to get Cydney home so I can be with them both under one roof.

Thanks for all your continued prayers! Pray for Cydney's glucose levels to stabilize, for her to remain free of IVs, free of infections, for her to nurse like a pro, and for us to get out of here ASAP! I'll keep you updated!

Keep praying!

2009-07-21T14:12:00.001-05:00

As of this morning, Cydney has been taken off CPAP and is breathing on her own!!! If she continues to do well, she'll be moved to Level 2 tonight. This would be great because they are private rooms and I could stay with her. I've been in the hospital for 15 weeks, but don't want to leave without my baby. She is the most adorable thing ever!

She is now a bit jaundiced so she is under the bili lights. She just wanted a suntan before going out into the world. :)
She is also having a little trouble keeping her glucose level stable and is therefore still on some IV fluid. Please pray that this stablizes so she can come off the IV. It is so painful for me to see her get stuck with the needles (she's already had 5 IVs and is only 4 days old).

We will attempt to breastfeed tomorrow as long as she continues to breathe well. Pray that she can suck, swallow, and breathe so we can get home ASAP!

I'm feeling good and walked the halls today. It felt great to be free of all pumps, IVs, and monitors and be human again.

Thanks for all your continued love & support. We can't wait to bring our BIG girl home and start living as our family of four.

Cydney update

2009-07-20T09:09:00.002-05:00

Good morning! I wanted to write a quick update on our little princess. She had a great day yesterday and was on 21% oxygen (room air) majority of the day. She is still on the CPAP, but Miss Thing is hopefully coming off that today. She hates it and has already figured out how to wiggle out of it. She still has an occasional desat spell, but she recovers very quickly. Her feedings have been increased to 27cc (almost 1 oz) and if she tolerates all her milk today, they will take her IV out later. Her blood cultures came back negative, Thank God, and her antibiotics have been stopped.

She is just the most adorable little angel and we can't get enough of her. I think she was held by someone all day yesterday. We finally put her back and came back to our room about midnight.

Thanks for all your continued love and support. We are so blessed. Keep praying for our angel. Hopefully, she'll keep progressing and we'll be outta here in no time. I am able to stay an extra few days, so I probably wont be going home until Wednesday. I have been feeling much better, although still having some pain, it is improving quickly.

Thanks again---we will keep you updated!

a few pictures from delivery day!

2009-07-19T09:47:00.005-05:00

Big Brother was there bright & early to help momma get ready!
He's not sure what to think about momma's belly...
Cydney just a few minutes old..
She was 4lbs 12 oz and 18 inches long...
Coy meeting his sister for the first time....
...and he thought he'd welcome her to the world with a little crayon message.
On her way up to the NICU...
Waiting on mommy to come back to her room...having some fun with Cousin Ryder.
awww...I don't think Ryder was as happy about the hug.
...and especially not the face grab. They're so silly!

Picture and Prayer Requests

2009-07-18T19:04:00.003-05:00

Cydney is still in the NICU on CPAP. Although her CPAP is on the lowest settings, she is having a few desat spells (her blood oxygen level drops). She has been doing that when she gets really upset and cries (she is loud!)and wears herself out. Her oxygen is still in the low to mid 20s, so she doesn't need much help, but I still wish she could come off CPAP soon. The doctor is saying she is having some respiratory distress and this is due to her premature lungs. Until she comes off the CPAP, she has to eat by a tube in her mouth. They started feeding her some milk this afternoon and so far, she's digested it just fine. She still has her IV and will get TPN (electrolytes and stuff) until they work her up to full feedings.

It was much harder for Chris and I to go back into the NICU than we were expecting. Just the smell of the lobby really brought back emotions and memories. And, to see Cydney hooked up to the CPAP and hearing the dinging of all the alarms (of the NICU in general), it was tough. We are thankful that instead of telling us our baby is going to die or be disabled, they are telling us she is doing wonderful. But, it's just that helpless feeling that breaks your heart. Although I was hoping she wouldn't need so much intervention, part of me thought I was prepared for it. I guess I really wasn't.

Please pray she can come off the CPAP soon, that she keeps her oxygen level up, that we can start trying to nurse her, that she tolerates her milk, that her IV can come out soon, that she doesn't get an infection, and for our strength and patience

I am definitely feeling the pain more today. I was up walking and moving around probably more than I should have been, and I can feel it today! I have been taking Vicodin as needed, but it makes me really sleepy. I have been upstairs to hold Cydney twice so far, and plan on going tonight again. I know I should take it easy, but I can't go very long without holding my sweet girl. Chris held and cuddled with her all afternoon. He's so in love.

I will post pictures from yesterday soon, but wanted to share this photo of our sweet girl...isn't she precious?

Quick update

2009-07-17T16:27:00.004-05:00

Thank you for all your love, support, prayers, and birthday wishes!

We are absolutely in love with our baby girl. She is still in the NICU and on CPAP. Her 02 requirement has been 21% (room air) and hopefully she'll come off that very soon. They are giving her some precautionary antibiotics due to her prematurity, but she is looking good and showing no signs of infection. She cried and cried at delivery and it was the sweetest sound! She also has a "strong suck" and loves her pacifier. She can't eat right now because of the CPAP, but I'm praying I can nurse her in the next few days. She is currently on the warmer, but will be moved to an open crib. My big girl doesn't even need an isolete, yeah!!

I am doing well. My pain has been minimal and everything seems to be just as it should. I know Cydney's birth was God's perfect timing. My doctor said my uterus was 'very close' to rupturing and the scar tissue did not look good. He also said after delivery he was going to smoke a cigar and celebrate that this was all over! I think I gave him a few more gray hairs than he'd like! =)

I will be able to get out of bed and go upstairs to see her at 830pm tonight. I gave her lots of kisses before they took her upstairs and can't wait to see her in a few hours. Chris has been a very protective daddy and been with her all day. I started pumping and have produced LOTS of colostrum. I am a cow when it comes to producing milk!

Coy was just the most adorable Big Brother today. They were able to bring Cydney over in the transport isolete to show the whole family before taking her upstairs. Coy drew on the top of the isolete with his crayons!

We are elated and so ecstatic! God is great! I will post pictures as soon as I get them emailed to me!

Please continue to pray for Cydney; I am hoping she gets off the CPAP very soon and is able to eat. Thanks again for all your love and prayers! We couldn't be more thankful to you all!

Cydney Marie Kolkhorst

2009-07-17T09:44:00.002-05:00

Good morning everyone!

We have a baby!! Cydney Marie was born at 8:22 AM this morning and weighed 4 pounds 12
ounces - 10 ounces bigger than expected! God is so good!! We praise him for
the safe arrival of our new granddaughter.
Ann Marie is still in recovery but doing fine. Cydney was breathing on her
own but was transported upstairs to the NICU to be evaluated.

Today is Ann Marie's birthday; her birth weight was 4 pounds 12 ounces also.

Thanks so much for your prayers-God is awesome.

Blessings,
Kathy (Grandma)

Big News!

2009-07-15T15:03:00.003-05:00

Cydney and I are going to share a birthday---Friday, July 17th!

My doctor checked my cervix this morning and discovered that I am 1 cm dilated! He turned to Chris and I and asked, "Do you want to have a baby tomorrow or Friday?" I was in total shock because I have NOT had any bleeding or pain and had no idea I was starting to dilate. We want to give her every last minute to develop that we can, so we chose Friday (I will be checked again in the morning to make sure we can wait until Friday).

I have a mix of emotions going through me right now. I am excited to meet her, but nervous. I wanted to make it to 35 weeks, but I guess that isn't going to happen. I am SO thankful that we are at 34 weeks, but she will still be a preemie. I wish we could just take the cerclage out and let nature take it's course, but that's not an option. I can't go into 'labor' due to the risk of my uterus rupturing from my previous classical c-section.

I had a growth scan today and she was on the smaller side at 4lbs 2oz. I was hoping for closer to 5 lbs, but that's not in my control! I was a 4 lb baby---what can I say, like mother, like daughter!

As of now, my c-section is scheduled for Friday morning at 730am. Please pray all goes well and she comes out breathing and pink! Also, pray that she has developed the suck, swallow, breathe reflex and she doesn't need a feeding tube! I am trying to expect her to go to NICU for a bit, but how awesome would it be if we could skip that!

Thanks for all your prayers! We will keep you updated!

14 weeks

2009-07-12T19:06:00.003-05:00

I can't believe in one day I will have spent 14 weeks or *98* straight days in the hospital. Don't get me wrong, I am unbelievably thankful that it is me in here rather than Cydney in the NICU. But, it's still hard and I'm starting to get really restless. I know that everyday counts and with each passing hour Cydney is getting stronger. I want to bring her home with us and skip the NICU altogether. That is my sole focus right now. I'm trying to keep my eye on the prize and push forward with all I have.

I know God has provided me the strength, will, and determination to get through this pregnancy. I am simply too weak to have done it on my own. I know that it is God alone that has kept me and is still keeping me pregnant. It brings me perfect peace that regardless of the day or gestational week I feel is best for Cydney's birth, He knows best, better than me. And, that's a relief.

On Wednesday, I'll be 34 weeks and we'll get another growth scan to see how much Little Miss is weighing. She is moving around all the time and sometimes I feel like she is gonna kick right through me! Over the weekend, I got a final round of steroids to help with lung development. Those shots made me have more contractions than normal and I got a little anxious there for a bit.

Things have seemed to calm down, although, I've established myself as a 'night contractor' for some reason. The nurses say it's very common on the Antepartum unit and everyone has their own patterns. The funny thing is that I sleep through them and don't feel a thing. My doctor was a little concerned with all the activity on the monitor I had going on one night last week and really stressed to me that after we hit 34 weeks, he's going to have a very low threshold for my contractions. Meaning, his concern is my classical incision and cerclage, therefore, he doesn't want me going into labor, not even close. So after this Wednesday, things will be very touch and go, day by day. We don't have a scheduled c-section date simply because my doctor thinks that things are going to happen fast and there's no need to have it scheduled.

Of course now that I'm so close to 34 weeks, my goal is 35weeks. I am never satisfied and always want one more. It's exciting for me to think that 35 weeks is only 10 days away. Wow!

My amazing sister in laws, Mandy & Jenny, and mother in law, Kathy, threw me the best shower here at the hospital on Saturday morning. It was beautiful and we had a great time. I actually wore a dress and put on make up and looked 'normal' again! We were given so many adorable and special things for our baby girl. She is going to be the best dressed baby girl in town! We are so thankful for all of our great family and friends and for all they do for us. We couldn't be more blessed. Of course, we have lots of great pictures, but I can't download them to this computer, so I'll have to post those after we're back at home.

Coy is doing fabulous and is loving that he can walk. He goes, goes, and goes! He is the cutest thing I have ever seen!

I will of course keep you updated if something happens/plans change before Wednesday. Thanks for all your continued love and support; it means the world to us!

33 week Belly Shot!

2009-07-09T14:46:00.003-05:00

Okay, I'm getting brave posting these (can you say bedhead?)...here is 33 weeks! Whohoo! =)

33 weeks

2009-07-08T21:30:00.002-05:00

Today I am 33 weeks pregnant; I am so excited!

This will be a quick update because really nothing has changed over the past few days. My doctor decided to not check my cervix this morning because I haven't had any pain or bleeding and he thought it'd be best to wait until next week. Sounds good to me! =)

I had another BPP on Tuesday; Cydney did great and was looking so cute! They haven't done a weight estimate since 31 weeks, but I'm hoping she's at least 4 lbs and some change. I can definitely feel her growing in there---she seems to be stretching out everywhere! She is still head up and bottom down, which doesn't matter anyway since I'll have a c-section regardless.

Thanks for all your continued love and support! I promise to update if something changes suddenly!

feeding the ducks

2009-07-06T22:01:00.003-05:00

Thought I'd share some cute pictures of my boy feeding the ducks today...

playing with his Grandma C

still here, still pregnant

2009-07-05T18:44:00.002-05:00

Today I am 32w4d pregnant. That is amazing for me to think about. I now am aiming for 33weeks. I say that every week; "I just need to make it one more week, then I'll relax." I feel like I'm learning to swim and my dad keeps backing up in the water, making me panic a little and swim further to him. You feel like you could not possibly swim any further, but then you do because your choices are either to sink or keep swimming. That's kinda what a high risk pregnancy feels like for me.

I know this 'leg' of our journey will be ending soon, and I'm grateful and sad about that all in the same. I can't wait to meet our daughter and see what she looks like, kiss and snuggle with her, and become our family of four. But I'm trying to enjoy every kick and movement I feel because it will be the last time I will experience pregnancy. I can't envision us undertaking this journey again, and we're happy being the parents of 'two' kids. I get asked a lot if we plan on having any more kids and my response is: NOT FROM THIS UTERUS!

For whatever reason, my body was not cut out to carry babies. Although God has brought us through the desert twice (with Coy and this pregnancy), I could not physically or mentally do this or a difficult NICU stay again. Not willingly, at least. And, I'm okay with that. We are blessed beyond measure to be able to get pregnant and have children, regardless of the struggles it brings. But for us, two is a good stopping point and we feel peace with that.

In other news, I will have a BPP (Biophysical profile) on Tuesday, then my doctor will check my cervix again on Wednesday. Other than that, I'll just be hanging out enjoying the end of my 'rest' vacation. =)

Can you believe 34 weeks is only 1o days away? Crazy!

32 weeks, 100% Effaced

2009-07-01T20:46:00.003-05:00

Today marks 32 weeks gestation; it feels good to hit this milestone! The past 4 weeks have gone by quickly; I remember feeling the same sense of relief at 28 weeks and that seems like yesterday.

I had a dream last night that I was able to go home for a few weeks. It was one of those 'real' dreams and I was so excited in it. When I woke up, I thought to myself, 'well, maybe it could happen.' Wishful thinking, I guess?

My dream was quickly squashed after my doctor examined me mid-morning. He said, "I know you had that dream, but you're not going anywhere. You're 100% effaced; you have absolutely no cervix left." I am not dilated, but only because the cerclage is holding it closed. We're leaving the stitch in place for now. He told me today that he did think I will have some blood if it starts to pull---so we're watching closely for that. Hopefully, we'll make it another week or two. Basically, when the stitch has to come out, so does the baby.

God knows the exact day Cydney will come and that's the perfect day for her birth. He has given me a peace that things will be okay. When I called to tell Chris the update, he reminded me that there is no need to worry--and that I should enjoy these last few hours/days/weeks of pregnancy. And, that is what I'm going to do---enjoy being pregnant and get LOTS of sleep while I can. I'll consider these last few days/weeks my 'rest vacation' before I have a toddler and newborn at home!

But, at least Coy has started helping around the house--- anyone need a precious 19 month old to deep clean their carpets? =)
Thanks for all your continued love and support. We are so blessed by you. We will continue to take things day to day. I promise to keep you updated if anything changes suddenly. =)

31w4d

2009-06-28T19:10:00.004-05:00

I can now see the 'light at the end of the tunnel.' I was so thankful to get to 28weeks, then 30weeks, now I want 32weeks. Honestly, I don't think I'll ever be 'ready' to give birth. I think regardless of the gestational week (even at term), I'll feel like it's 'too early.' When your baby is born prematurely, you carry a guilt that your body failed and your child suffered. I want to protect Cydney with everything I have, and the best way for me to do that, is for her to be in my womb. I do, however, have a sense of relief that is she was born soon, her NICU course would be much different than what we experienced with Coy. Obviously, if we can avoid the NICU completely, I won't complain, but it's nice to be *almost* 32 weeks.

I don't have much to update today. Everything is pretty much the same, thank God! I have really good days where I don't feel many contractions, and then I have days where everything is really irritable. My doctor is going to start checking my cervix once per week (I think starting tomorrow). The reason for this is because I have a cerclage (stitch) in place and if my cervix is fully effaced and dilating, the cerclage will have to be removed. The stitch wont break--it will tear my cervix. He said I may or may not have bleeding/pain and therefore, I may not be aware if something is changing. Obviously, that needs to be watched closely and prevented.

Coy and Chris came to visit Saturday and Sunday. I love spending time with them. It's nice to have 'family' time and just hang out. Coy is walking so good. He is everywhere and so proud of himself! We are so proud of him too!

I took some cute pictures of him today, but can't download them to this computer. Sorry, you won't see any good pictures until after I get back home! =)

Thanks for all your thoughts and prayers! We couldn't do this without your love and support.

Baby Sister and Big Brother

2009-06-24T19:38:00.006-05:00

I am so blessed to be 31 weeks pregnant! I know I say this every week, but it seems surreal. Sometimes it's as though the past 11 weeks have dragged by, but in the next breath, time has flown past me.

When I came into the hospital at 20 weeks, I was hopeful, but overwhelmed. It was too much to comprehend the next 4, 8, 12, or 16 weeks. I am praising God for bringing us this far. Although our journey is not over (hopefully), I am feeling as though weights are slowly being lifted off my shoulders.

I love Psalm 73:26, "My flesh and heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." For unknown reasons, my body doesn't hold up well in pregnancy. My uterus contracts and cervix thins, but God is in my heart, my strength and carrying me through. Praise Him!

Cydney update:

She is weighing in at 3 lbs 7 oz! Wow, big girl! She looked great on ultrasound and was moving all about. Her head is up by my bellybutton and it sticks out like a hard lump. It's the funniest thing. It's her bottom that's sitting down on my cervix. I got some really wonderful face shots today; she is beautiful!

Coy update:

He is feeling better, thanks for all your love and prayers! He is my everything and I am really missing him these days. He is growing up so fast...I can't believe he's no longer a baby. He's my big, WALKING, boy. Yes, he started actually walking on Sunday night. Can you believe it? In the midst of his sickness and teething, he decided he was going to start walking. I am so proud of him. He's an absolute miracle of God and I don't feel worthy to be his mommy.

Here are a few pics of him from this week...they're all taken with cell phone cameras so they're not the best quality...

He's walking the dogs...(if you click on the picture, it'll blow up so you can see it better...that's a leash in his hand and it's attached to the dog although you can't really tell !)
Eating some spaghetti...
Practicing for the PGA tour...

Once again, thanks for all your love and prayers! We are so blessed by your emails, comments, cards, and letters. I'll keep you updated! =)

update

2009-06-21T17:09:00.004-05:00

Thanks for all your prayers! Chris, Grandma K, & Grandpa K brought Coy to the ER because his pulse ox was reading that his sats were in the 80s. It's been really stressful for all of them because this would mean Coy needed oxygen (we don't have any in the house anymore since he passed his sleep study), but otherwise, he was acting himself. He does have a bad cough, but he's been on an antibiotic since being diagnosed with 'beginning stages of pneumonia' on Friday. Of course, this freaked me out. Pneumonia can be VERY bad and I automatically thought the worst.

The home pulse ox is a tricky little machine and not always accurate (especially if limbs are flying everywhere). So, to be safe, Coy was checked out by the ER doctor. Thankfully, he was sating 95% and he checked out fine. He's still fighting his illness, but hopefully, he's on the road to recovery. On top of his sickness, he's getting 4 new teeth! Poor baby has just had a really rough week. Please continue to pray for his healing. I would have never guessed he'd get pneumonia in June. What is up with the sick season this year?

Being his mother, it was hard on me to not be able to see him. I didn't want him up here if he was sick, and I was no help with advising on what to do for him. Can you say helpless? And, poor Chris is sick, too. He's staying away from Coy (he wore a mask today) because we have no idea if Coy got Chris sick or if Chris's illness is a totally different bug that Coy should NOT be exposed to. So, Chris, Grandpa K, & Grandpa C spent their Father's Day in the ER. I think we're blessed to have a few good men in our lives!

Anyway, I worked myself up in such a tizzy that on Friday I began having lots of irritability and contractions. I know, not good when I'm already 70% effaced. So, to stop that (after a few extra doses of terbutaline didn't do the trick) I got a shot of Demerol/phenergan (yep, that's what they give for contractions), and it totally knocked me out. That stuff is serious and made me so grouchy the next day. I have been doing better since, just trying to relax as much as possible. It was scary for me to think that I could have a baby alone--Chris is sick, Coy is sick, my doctor is out of town, parents were out of town, and Grandparents K were taking care of sick Coy. Aghh...how your mind can wonder at times.

I'm praying and thankful for everyday I stay pregnant. Each day Cydney is cooking, she's getting stronger and stronger. I am hoping for at least a few more weeks.

And, after all this is over, this is where you'll find all of us...

...aghh, at least I can dream about it, right?

please pray

2009-06-21T11:53:00.002-05:00

If you have read my twitter updates, you know that Coy was diagnosed with the early stages of pneumonia on Friday. He was started on an antibiotic and seemed to be getting better. However, his pulse ox is showing his sats are from the mid 80s to mid 90s. Chris is also sick. Kathy is bringing Coy to the ER. Please pray. I feel so helpless and am trying to not stress out for Cydney's sake. This has been a rough week to say the least.

Happy Father's Day!

2009-06-21T09:59:00.003-05:00

Coy and Cydney are blessed to have Chris as their daddy, and I'm blessed to have Chris as my husband. He works so hard to provide for us, takes care of us emotionally and physically. He was there for all 104 days of Coy's NICU stay, and he's been here for all 11 weeks of my hospitalization. He loves us unconditionally, keeps us protected and supported. We love you Daddy! Happy Father's Day!

staying put for now

2009-06-18T19:10:00.002-05:00

It looks like I'm here for the long haul. My doctor was NOT impressed with my cervix. His exact words were, "There's not much left and her head is right there." I'm still not dilated at all which is the good news. He said that he wouldn't be comfortable sending me home with my history of a previous classical c-section.

So, that's that. Pray that I have at least 4 more weeks left and that my cerclage holds tight. He didn't say delivery was imminent, he just didn't want me at home. After being here for 10 weeks already, 5 weeks & 5 days doesn't seem like that much longer to go.

And, please pray for Coy, too. He's still not feeling good. He has a bad cough and is just not himself. I haven't seen him since Sunday and I'm missing him like crazy.

Thanks for all your love & prayers!

the BIG 3-0 (almost)

2009-06-16T16:56:00.003-05:00

I am writing this a day early....with a few updates and needing some prayers...

First the update on Coy...

Thanks so much for all your prayers in preparation for his circumcision surgery! However, his surgery for tomorrow (Wednesday) is cancelled due to a fever/cough he got on Monday morning. He's feeling fine today. He still has a low grade fever, but I could hear him giggling and laughing this morning on the phone. They wont do surgery with any recent illness, so we are now looking at sometime after September for the surgery. I was really wanting to get it over with because I had mentally prepared for it to happen, but honestly, I'm relieved that he wont be having it tomorrow. It wasn't meant to be this week and I trust God is in control over this. =)

Now update on me/Cydney...

Yesterday on the monitor, Cydney's heart rate had a 'decel' so....
I had a biophysical profile done today...basically it's an ultrasound that measures her movements, fluid levels, etc. They scored her and she passed the test with flying colors...8/8!
My doctor is coming in tomorrow (Wednesday) to check my cervix....if nothings changed and he feels confident, he's going to send me home. I am excited if this happens, but am not letting myself be disappointed if it doesn't. He said if I do get to go, he would make me promise to not 'do anything' and stay in bed. I promise, I promise, I promise and pinky swear too.
...and we're 6 hours away from 3-0 weeks. I'm not counting my chicks before they hatch, but we're oh, so close. Praise God!

I'll keep you posted on the "plan" for tomorrow....pray that God guides us in the right direction!

short & sweet

2009-06-14T20:10:00.004-05:00

Well, here we are, at 29w4d, still pregnant! Thanks be to God!

Things are all pretty much the same and we're taking it day by day. The terb pump is working great. I think the medicine is actually helping quite a bit. I've been having less contractions and irritability lately...which is really nice. I had one day where things were pretty calm all day. It was funny for me to think that is what most pregnancies feel like. I felt like I could get up and jog or something. Or you know, walk around maybe. =)

I guess something has changed, though....my appetite! I get really hungry these days--it's crazy! And, my sweet tooth (sorry Vicky) is getting worse! I am CRAVING Blue Bell Vanilla ice cream all the time. Thank goodness they sell it downstairs!

I'm trying to enjoy every little thing about this pregnancy & 'being pregnant.' I'm very excited to meet my girl, but at the same time, I know that these days are very special. I know I have 6 more weeks at the most...and I am praying for all of them!

Thanks for your continued love & support. It means the world to us!

I'll leave you with these pictures of Coy trying to tip over his stroller today. Exciting, I know, but it's all I've got. He loves to either climb up his stroller, push it, or throw it over. Who needs toys when you have a stroller?

another random update

2009-06-10T18:59:00.003-05:00

I am so thrilled to be 29 weeks pregnant! It seems surreal and is such a different experience than the first time around. I am not ready to have this baby by any means, but no longer being in 'micropreemie' territory (23-27 weeks, under 2 lbs) really brings me some relief.

Now, I am still striving for as close to term as possible (I will not go past 36 weeks due to my classical uterine incision), but every day is a gift and I'll take each and every one of them. Believe it or not, I even count the hours. My favorite times of the day are waking up in the morning and going to bed at night; another day here, another one down. I am enjoying being with Cydney during the daytime too, but something about each sunrise and every sundown lifts my spirits andd allows me to breathe alittle easier.

Today, my doctor came in and gave me a big high-five, said he was proud of me, and told me he was thinking about sending me home sometime next week. I'm almost hesitant to say anything because he did say, "I'm not promising anything, but if nothing changes, it's a strong possibility." Whew, that would be a big decision to make...I'll be thinking and praying that God will lead us in the right direction. Will you pray with us?

I received another round of betamethasone (steroid injection to help mature the lungs) today. When I got the first round at 23 weeks, my doctor mentioned I would receive another round at 29 weeks. At that time, 29 weeks almost seemed an eternity away, an improbability. I am so thankful to be here. Have I mentioned that before?

Last night, Chris brought me Pei Wei for dinner (it's really good if you have never been there). My 'fortune' cookie made us laugh. It read, "A solid challenge will bring forth your finest abilities." I don't think my 'finest' ability is carrying babies; at this point I'd have to say I stink at it. I am really good at bed rest, though....does that count as a 'finer' ability? =)

And finally, Coy is schedule in one week from today for circumcision/possible hydrocele surgery. It will be done in the same hospital I'm in, so of course, I'll be wheeled down and stay with him the whole time. We've known he needed this for some time, and we can't put it off any longer. It's been scheduled since before I was on bed rest/in the hospital, and unfortunately, this was the first availability they had. No, it's not an emergency or anything, but due to his age, we really have to get it done or leave it alone. He's getting to a point where he's aware of his body (if you know what I mean) and we don't think we should wait any longer.

I am so scared for him to go back on a ventilator (they have to put him all the way under). I know his lungs are MUCH stronger now than when he was a 'baby', but still, I wish he didn't have to be intubated again. Will you please start to pray this surgery goes well (it's only suppose to last 30 min-1 hour at the most and he should be going home that same day) and Coy has no issues at all with the ventilator? I will feel better knowing that y'all are praying one week in advance!

As always, thanks for all your thoughts, prayers, comments, emails, & cards! We are so blessed by you.

Oh, and I forgot to mention...I went outside last weekend! And, can I say, that being outside in Houston is WAY overrated in June. It was HOT. Although it was nice to get some sunshine and breath fresh air, I think I'm liking the AC in my room just fine. =)

a little of everything

2009-06-07T18:30:00.005-05:00

On Thursday, I was (finally) taken off the mag and started on a terbuatline pump. The catheter is in my thigh, in the subcutaneous tissue, and there is a tiny tubing that is connected to a pump. The pump looks like a cell phone and it's attached to my pants. Overall, it's MUCH better than being connected to an IV and it doesn't hurt at all. The site has to be changed every 5 days, but hey, that's nothing compared to all the IVs. So far, the terbutaline is working. I am still contracting, but not quite as much, and having irritation to my uterus. We know it's not normal, but it's 'my normal', and that what they're really watching. The key to the puzzle is the cervix...as long as the contractions haven't caused dilation, we're doing good. And so far (*knock on wood*), I'm still closed.

Everything else is pretty much the same. Cydney is moving like crazy and kicking me all the time. It's also really cool to feel her get the hiccups! She hiccups for 5-15 minutes at least twice per day. I felt it for the first time at 26 weeks and knew instantly what it was. Two weeks later, I still put my hand on my belly every time to feel it. I love it. I am cherishing every movement, kick, hiccup--life is truly a miracle.

I searched the internet high & low for Cydney's bedding and furniture. I finally settled on this for her bedding (the fabric looks faded in this picture for some reason)...

and this for her crib...
I'm really excited to have that ordered and on it's way. Of course, it'll be a few weeks before it comes in, but at least it's taken care of!

As far as Coy goes, he's taking steps on his own now! He started standing up all by himself this past week, then began taking a few steps at a time. He took 5 steps last night! His therapist says it'll only be a few weeks before he's taken off! He is a ball of energy and I'm going to be chasing after him like crazy!

Thanks so much for all your love & support. Also, thanks for all the advice on the double strollers! I think I'm leaning towards the Double BOB right now...I am going to send Chris to test drive it first though. Or, maybe I'll send my sister or sister-in-laws...I think I trust their stroller opinions more than his! =)

Praying and praising for 29 weeks! Hope everyone has a great Monday!

summer treat...

2009-06-06T20:53:00.003-05:00

I will update more tomorrow (at 28w4d!), but tonight I wanted to share my first born enjoying a treat....

He LOVES Popsicles! I think he got his momma's sweet tooth!

Good news!

2009-06-03T15:20:00.005-05:00

I have good news to report today....

my fFN was NEGATIVE again!

I am getting a terbutaline pump today!

and, the best news of all....Cydney is weighing in at 2 lbs 6 oz!

I had my growth scan this morning and was just praying she was over 2lbs. I couldn't believe it when the tech said she was 2 lbs 6 oz! It's insane that she is (almost) double Coy's birth weight. Thank you God!

I am also so thankful my fFN was negative again. That's a really good thing! Now, if you could just pray that I stay free of infections...I had another UTI this week. Not fun!

And, since I'm 28 weeks today, my doctor feels comfortable changing me to the terbutaline pump. If it doesn't work, we can always go back to the mag, but I am excited I will be IV free for the first time in 8 weeks!

Here are two belly pics as promised...not looking too hot, but that's what 8 weeks in a hospital will do for ya! =) Besides that, I don't really care as long as I have a healthy girl!

deep breath

2009-05-31T19:58:00.004-05:00

I've been taking lots of those lately. Partly due to the fact that I'm so out of shape (after laying in a bed for almost 10 weeks), but mainly because I'm so, so thankful to be almost 28 weeks. It is just overwhelming.

Not everyday is a 'good day'....some days I am still emotional and have a hard time getting through. It's not that I'm not thankful on those days, but the pregnancy hormones, the 8 weeks of Magnesium, feeling trapped in this room, being human, and missing my boys all come to a head at times. Good news is that those days are fewer and father between.

Two of my favorite verses recently are Ephesians 3:20 & Luke 1:37, "Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine" and "For nothing is impossible with God."
Whenever I have doubt or fear, when this journey seems never-ending, when I get negative and down, I take a deep breath and remind myself of these truths. What a relief to know God is good and always present to carry me through the hard days (and good ones, too).

I did something yesterday that I have not allowed myself to do the past 28 weeks. I shopped online for baby girl clothes! I bought her two cute little outfits from Baby Gap and two bows from Etsy. I literally had not bought her one thing....not a blanket, not a onesie, no furniture, or bedding. I have been waiting until I felt ready and finally this weekend, I was ready.

And, don't worry....it won't take me long to make up for lost time! I can shop with the best of them. Next on the agenda is a double stroller (anyone have one they love? recommendations? advice?), nursery furniture, and bedding. Oh man, this is gonna be fun! =)

Guess who came to visit his Baby sister and momma this weekend? This guy....

....my cuddle bug, snuggle love who loves to play in his sand box.

Thanks for all your love and support. I love reading your comments and emails! It brightens my day and gives me strength. We are so blessed.

Prayers and praise for 28 weeks! I will have a growth scan sometime this week; I will let you know how it goes!

27 weeks!

2009-05-27T20:36:00.005-05:00

Today, on 27th of May, I am 27 weeks....Praise God!

I have been in the hospital for 7 weeks now. It seems crazy that I have not been outside since April 7th. (I will go outside soon...when I hit 28 weeks, that will be my reward!)

I have been missing 'everyday' life...riding in a car, running errands, taking walks, giving Coy baths and putting him to bed, going to dinner, going to church, etc. You get the drift. I use to get 'stressed' out with small things. That seems so silly to me now.

I am feeling so incredibly blessed that I am here not because I am terminally ill or going through a catastrophic life event. But because I am having a baby. I know that (or I think I will at least, no one is promised tomorrow) I will return to my life, my husband, my baby boy (with a new sister). Not that my life will be the same...it will be busy with 2 kids. But what a gift that is.

My heart aches for those who are here and their lives are turned upside down with tragedy. I hear the LifeFlight helicopter fly in and out all day long, everyday. I pray each and every time for whom ever is on there, for God to give them healing and peace.

I hope I never take the 'little things' for granted again. Kids fighting, a dirty house, laundry....I can't wait to return to those.

In other news, I have been feeling good...the past few days have flown by. I need to make it at least one more week; 28 weeks is a big milestone. But don't worry...I will not give up there. I will stand on my head if needed.

Many people have asked if I could possibly go home soon. Since we are taking things one day at a time, it will just depend on how I am feeling in a few weeks. Maybe at 30 or 32 weeks possibly....but we will cross that bridge when we get to it. I try not to think that far in the future or get anxious about what tomorrow will bring. Each day is a gift and I am just thankful to be here now...still pregnant!

I am so grateful for all your prayers, support, comments, emails, and cards! They are so encouraging!

BTW, Coy is doing great. He is giggling, dancing, and having the best time with his Grandma's, Aunts, and cousins. He absolutely loves to play outside...in the sandbox, swinging, wagon rides. He the cutest thing on the planet. No bias, right? =)

Baby Sister is now....

2009-05-24T15:59:00.011-05:00

Cydney Marie!

Yep, that is her name! She will go by Cydney and Marie is her middle name. We are really excited to have found something we both love! It took months of brainstorming, but once we put it together, it just felt right. I was thinking we would wait until she was born to announce it, but I can't keep secrets very well. And, now, if you will, pray for her by name!! Or, you can continue to call her Baby Sister too--God knows who you're talking about! =)

Oh, and if you don't like her name, please don't tell us. Believe it or not, I actually had someone tell me they didn't like Coy's name....after he was born! I know everyone has an opinion...and some people share them regardless if they should or not. Oh well, no harm done, we still love his name, too! =)

Praise God that I am now 26w4d. I am so grateful to be 'this far along' but still begging for more time. I am at peace knowing God has his arms wrapped around us and He knows the exact date of Cydney's birth. What an awesome feeling that is!

I have been feeling good, but getting more uncomfortable. I am always feeling full (of food) and I am SO, SO sick of this hospital cuisine. I mean, it literally takes all I have to eat sometimes. Part of the problem is that all I do is lay in bed--and therefore, don't have a great appetite. I am growing though--and I tried to take a 'belly pic' today, but it didn't do it justice. I'll try to get a better one another day!

Everything else is pretty much unchanged. I am still on IV mag and contracting 1-3 per hour. I told my doctor that my veins are getting mad at him; he said we 'might' switch to a terbutaline pump soon. Usually, the nurses get my IV on the first try, but when it was changed last Friday, it took 6 sticks and 3 different nurses! Needless to say, it hurt. Then the same morning I had my 3 hour glucose test (I still don't know if I passed that yet) and was stuck every hour for 4 hours to get blood. The blood draw doesn't hurt at all compared to IV's--and I'm really not complaining--I'd much rather be the one getting stuck than my daughter in the NICU. I cringe everytime I think about the countless IV's & sticks Coy endured; it literally breaks my heart. He is such a strong boy and I know God protected him when I couldn't. He is my little miracle and I couldn't be prouder of him.

And finally, just thought I'd share a picture of Cydney's first dress (it's size 0-3 months for reference)....!!! Isn't that the cutest thing ever?? Thanks Ann, Shawn, & Jaxson!!!

I hope everyone has a wonderful Memorial Day! Thanks for all the prayers and love! We couldn't be more blessed!

test results

2009-05-21T20:19:00.002-05:00

Just a quick post to say...

....my fFN was negative!
....my cervix is 3.7 without funneling this week!

Both are wonderful news, by the way!

I am in need in prayer of....

....I failed my 1 hour gestational diabetes test....(okay, I've stopped eating Starbursts & Skittles now)...and I have to take the 3 hour test in the morning.
....I have a UTI (urinary tract infection) that seemed to cause the problems earlier this week.

Thanks for all your love and support! We are so appreciative and grateful!
Oh, and pray God gives us peace about baby girl's name...we're working on it now...=)

bug

2009-05-19T19:52:00.002-05:00

Sometimes when you're down, you get kicked. That's definitely how I felt on Monday. Awful. Just awful.

I felt like I was on fire, with the chills, and my body hurt all over. On top of that, when I went to the bathroom yesterday morning, I had a small amount of spotting. It was small, but nonetheless, still concerned me.

As the day went on, I felt worse and worse. Last night my temperature was 101.7 (with Tylenol in my system), and all I could do was lay in bed and close my eyes. Because of the Swine Flu scare, the hospital has a protocol in place that they have to follow if you exhibit 2 or more symptoms. Part of that protocol was putting me in isolation--which included moving rooms. Oh, that was not what I wanted to do when I was so weak I could barely walk to the bathroom.

Over the past 6 weeks, I've accumulated lots of things in my room---pictures, books, cards, clothes, toiletries. Thank goodness Chris was here to help; it took him forever to move everything. My new room is just like the other one, except that it's a negative pressure room so the air is filtered to outside the hospital.

I felt really silly being in isolation and sorry for my nurse. I told Chris last night that I was being moved from a 'regular cell' to 'solitary confinement'. Ha! I was praying it was not the Swine flu or the flu for that matter. Today they did the nasal flush test---and it came back negative! I was also tested for strep throat which was negative too. I'm still waiting on urine culture results to come back.

Thank God I am feeling better today. Who knows what hit me yesterday; hopefully, it goes away and stays there!

Yesterday morning, my doctor decided not to do another ultrasound because we didn't have reason to. Well, sure enough, I had a small amount of spotting shortly after he said that! He came back in, checked my cervix, which is still closed, Praise Jesus! He then he ordered another u/s. They couldn't get to me on Monday, which I was glad because I felt too bad to go anyway. And, today I was in 'isolation' most of the day, so I couldn't go regardless. I will have it sometime tomorrow along with the fFN test. Please pray these both look good! I haven't had anymore spotting, so who knows what it was--hopefully, nothing!

I'll update when I know test results! Thanks be to God for making it to 26 weeks. Now looking pressing forward to 26.5 weeks on Sunday....

(oh and I promise after this pregnancy is over, I will never use the words spotting, discharge, cervix, contractions, or infection again! =) I don't mean to gross everyone out...it's just hard to explain everything without being so specific sometimes...)

weekend update

2009-05-17T19:13:00.002-05:00

It's Sunday again---now shooting for Wednesday which will mark 26 weeks!

I've had a great weekend filled with lots of visitors! Chris and Coy were here most of Saturday and Sunday; I swear he is growing up everyday (and by he I mean Coy)! He looks so mature now. I think over the past few weeks he's gone from 'baby' to 'little man'. Coy's development and eating have really taken off lately, too. He went from a picky eater to eating all kinds of yummy things; Grandma K has really worked hard at this. I am so thankful for all her persistence and dedication to my little man. He really has 'turned a corner' with eating and I am so grateful!

Coy started dancing this weekend--he will bend his knees and bounce up and down. He is the cutest! He also is walking while only holding on to someone with one hand. He is so close to walking on his own! He really is the happiest, sweetest thing on Earth. His laugh is so contagious and brings the biggest smile to my face and heart. Oh, thank you God for blessing us with our son. I don't remember life without him.

I am still hanging out--pregnant! Woohoo! Each day is such a gift. I may or may not have an ultrasound tomorrow; I need to talk to my doctor about the plans. Please pray that my cervix is unchanged (regardless if I have an u/s or not)! I will have another FFN test on Wednesday, please pray this is negative! Baby Sister is so active; she kicks and moves all the time. With kicks like this, I am wondering is she going to be a gymnast, ballerina, or soccer player?

love

2009-05-16T19:50:00.004-05:00

my two loves visiting today....

25 weeks!

2009-05-13T18:53:00.006-05:00

Here we are....at 25 weeks, Praise God! I am so beyond thankful, but still praying for many more weeks to come. I can hardly believe I've been here for 5 weeks, 1 day already. But whose counting, right? =) Time really has passed faster than I expected it to. One of my (mental) tricks is to break the week in two parts: make it to Wednesday, then focus on Sunday. Wednesday, then Sunday.

I'm still on Mag sulfate (2gms) through an IV (they change it every 3-4 days) and there is no plans to stop it anytime soon. I was told by one of Coy's Neonatologist (who came down to visit me; He is a brilliant man who was there during Coy's roughest days; I will forever be grateful to him) that there is a new study showing low doses of Mag in moms over a long period of time show reduced rates of CP (cerebral palsy) in preemies. I said, "Okay, there is another plus to having an IV for 5+ weeks! I didn't know that!" I am so thankful for all the wonderful doctors/nurses here who are so educated and researched; I am so well taken care of!

My body is so use to this medicine, that I don't feel it anymore. Thank God that I have 'good veins' and I'm not needle phobic. The nurses get an excited/relieved look on their faces when they see I'm not a hard stick and my veins are popping out from across the room. God provides, y'all!

My ultrasound on Monday showed my cervix was unchanged from the previous week---good news! Also, Baby Sister is approximately 1 lb 9 oz! That's 5 oz heavier than her Big Brother's birth weight. Isn't that unfathomable? It is to me...and I'm the one who gave birth to him!

Chris was here for my ultrasound and wheeled me back to my room afterwards (it's up one floor). I was teasing him saying, "Lets make a run for it! Take me to the zoo!" (it's across the street). He laughed, but steered me back to my room. I'm not complaining about being here; it's a blessing. I have so much to look forward to and I can't believe how far God has brought us.

For the first time this morning, I felt Baby Sister stick a body part (I'm not sure if it was a butt, foot, head, or hand) up next to my belly button. I had a tumor like lump for a good minute until she moved again. It was one of those pregnancy things I didn't experience with Coy--it was fun to feel.

I've been told that I'm in second place for 'the longest current stay' here on the Antepartum unit. My nurses have all been great (they even go get me Skittles from downstairs when I start craving them). And, so have the Food Service people, the Housekeeping ladies, the ladies who take my vital signs/change my sheets, etc. It's amazing how when we stop and take the time (or are forced to), the people we encounter in our lives bring such blessings; the people we would have never spoken to or thought we had anything in common with. Give someone the time of day that normally would not--you have no idea what joy it will bring to you both! By the way, first place for longest stay is currently held by a sweet friend who has me beat by 3 weeks--she is 28 weeks with twins. Pray for her to make it all the way to 32 weeks and beyond!

We are so thankful for all your prayers, emails, cards, letters, and love. We could not do this without you!

Before I go, can you pray for Coy to heal of his ear infections? He can't seem to get rid of the pesky red ears and the poor baby isn't sleeping well. He was started on a stronger antibiotic today and hopefully that will clear it up.

And, finally, sand anyone???

keep on keepin' on...

2009-05-10T13:11:00.005-05:00

...that's what my doctor says to do.

I am praising God that I am still pregnant at 24w4d. It might not seem like that 'far along' to most, but to me, it's FAR along! And, I know, that each and every single hour/day God keeps me pregnant is such a blessing. I know I can do this...but only through Him.

I should have another ultrasound tomorrow. I say 'should' because if you've ever been in a hospital, you know they don't run on schedules! Please pray my cervix has not shortened anymore. Pray that Baby Sister is growing healthy & strong (we will get a weight estimate). Although it's not an ideal situation, it is a blessing to see her on u/s every week. I have more pictures for her baby book then I know what to do with! =)

In other news, Coy came yesterday (and today!)...and so did Sugar Pie & Dixie! My In-laws put them in a crate(they only weigh 5 lbs each) and brought them to my room! I was so surprised and excited to see them! They were perfect angels and didn't hardly make a sound! I know they are really confused as to where their 'mommy' disappeared to, so it was so good to see them! I wish we had pictures, but unfortunately, my camera battery died.

The picture below was taken last week when Coy visited. Chris had this picture blown up and it's now hanging on my wall (I took a pic of the pic using my iPhone...that's why it looks so bad). I love this little man so much; he was giving me kisses and then cracking us both up!

I hope everyone had a restful, relaxing Mother's Day weekend! I can't say thank you enough for your love and prayers. We are beyond blessed and grateful.

Until next time, I will keep on keepin' on....

prayer request!

2009-05-10T11:03:00.004-05:00

Please pray for...

...a friend who has recently been diagnosed with breast cancer. Please pray for her complete healing and peace during this difficult time.

....Baby Layla Grace, a 17 month old, who was diagnosed with cancer this week. Pray for her to be pain free and for the total healing of the cancer.

updates and reflections

2009-05-06T13:44:00.006-05:00

Thanks to everyone for your prayers and support. We could not get through this without you and are forever grateful for your love!

I am happy to say I've been 'pain free' the past two days and felt MUCH better. My body is free of Vicodin and my head is un-fogged, whew!

The past two days have brought different concerns, however. Yesterday, while monitoring Baby Sister, her heart rate slowed down some when I had a contraction. I usually monitor twice per day for 30 minutes, but yesterday, I had to stay on the monitor for about half the day. They wanted to watch and make sure she wasn't doing this often, and thankfully, the rest of the day she looked better.

Today, I started having more contractions than usual, and at one point they were 2-3 minutes apart. I had my magnesium turned up to 4mg for an hour and was started on Indocin for 48 hours. Things have definitely slowed down tonight, but I am still contracting every 30 minutes. Please pray that these stop!

Also, it was confirmed that my cervix is indeed shortening with contractions. Basically this means that when pressure is applied to my abdomen during ultrasound, my cervix begins to open from the top. After released, it returns to normal. My doctor said it does look like I have an Incompetent cervix---something that was suspected, but is very hard to diagnose. Pray that my cervix stops shortening, that my cerclage holds tight, that my contractions stop, and that Baby Sister stays put for many, many more weeks.

Praising God for 24 weeks, 1 day!

I don't know why my body 'doesn't like being pregnant' or why pregnancy brings struggles for me, but I do know that God is using this experience to change me. And, for that, I am thankful. When your life goes on 'hold' you have lots of time for prayer and reflection. Laying in bed for the past 6 weeks, 4 of them in the hospital, has made me realize how excruciatingly thankful I am for all the blessings I have. But the scary part is, I've realized how incredibly selfish I have become as well.

I haven't lived like Christ.

I haven't served others unselfishly, I haven't lived on less to give to those who need more. We sponsor a needy child, I pray for others, we tithe at church; I always thought that was 'enough'. I did enough to rationalize that I was a 'giving and serving' person. But truth is, I wasn't. I was wrapped up in my own bubble of life floating around with my own self serving purposes. I am embarrassed and ashamed.

I do know that we will ALL face trials and hardships during this time on Earth; that is a fact. I also know that the world continues moving when you are standing still in the midst of pain and struggle. But I hope to leave here a changed person; a person that stops and stands with those in need. A person that gives of herself until it hurts and does it without hesitation.

Please, God, change me.

good news, bad news

2009-05-04T18:32:00.004-05:00

First the good news: I can officially say I'm more pregnant than I've ever been, praise God! It seems surreal. Mentally, it was tough to get over that 'milestone', but I'm happy to be passed it!

Now for the bad news: mentally and physically, I'm breaking down. It's been 4 weeks of this (with many more to go, hopefully) and I already feel like a crazy person. Since my progesterone injection last Thursday, I've had unbelievable pain on my left side. It hit a bad spot--like a nerve--and I was in agony to the point of immobility. For that, they gave me Vicodin, which helped with the pain, but made me feel crazier than ever. And, after it wears off, I become nauseous, waddle my way to the bathroom, then throw up. Awesome, I think I'd rather suffer in pain. Heating pads, ice packs, Tylenol offered no relief at all. It is feeling somewhat better today, thank goodness, since I'm due for another shot on Thursday.

Another piece of bad news: I went for another ultrasound today and my cervix has started funneling some. In other words, it's beginning to open at the top. I am still waiting on my doctor to come 'explain' things and give me the official results. I will let you know when I hear from him tomorrow.

Please pray for me. Pray for my family. Pray that this pregnancy continues for many more weeks. Pray that God strengthens me physically, mentally, and spiritually. This is much tougher than I had anticipated and we are in need of your prayers. I suddenly feel like I'm in over my head.

bits and pieces

2009-04-29T18:01:00.003-05:00

some info as of late...

1) Coy developed a rash yesterday and after being evaluated by the Pediatrician today...she diagnosed Measles! Good news is that he's no longer contagious and is feeling like his old self again. Bad news is that his cousin Ryder is now sick...pray for his healing!

2) Had another cervical ultrasound today. Tech said cervix still looked long, however, there was a tiny bit of shortening...3.5 to 3.2 (I think). I'll get a definite answer tomorrow morning when I see my doctor. All in all, she wasn't concerned. Praise God

3) I received two doses of steroids for Baby Sister's lungs. My doctor felt that it was best to go ahead and give them to me. At 29 weeks, I'll get another round.

4) Okay, I guess all the talk about Swine Flu was for good reason. A 22 month old passed away at Texas Children's Hospital on Monday from the virus. He was transported here from Mexico, but still, it's scary. I am praying for this family.

5) And, since there has been a confirmed fatality of Swine Flu in Houston, I am not wanting Coy to come up to the hospital. I miss him so much and haven't seen him since Saturday. Chris said he took a step on Monday night...he's growing up so fast!

6) Here is picture of Chris with Coy's sign at the March of Dimes walk on Sunday. I was so excited when he sent me this picture! Also, thanks to Aunt Mandy for all your hard work with orgainzing this year's team!

7) On Monday night, parts of Houston received a massive downpoor of rain. This is the view from my in-laws house on Tuesday morning (that is looking out from the front door). Many homes in their neighborhood flooded (although my in-laws house did not); please keep them in your prayers!
and finally...this is an old picture, but is he not the cutest thing on Earth? =)

3 weeks

2009-04-27T17:42:00.005-05:00

Thanks to everyone praying for Coy. He is still sick with fever (101.5 today), but thankfully, acting more like himself. Although, he's not back 100%, I'm hoping it wont be too much longer. He's my heart and soul and I hate that he's not feeling good.

Tomorrow marks 3 weeks in the hospital. I have left this room 3 times, each for an hour, up one floor to the ultrasound room. My constant companion has been Mr. IV pole. I had a dream the other night that I went to Target...with my IV pole. I remember being confused about how to get my pole in the car. I mean, really, does that mean I've been here too long?

I have good days and bad days (as far as the uterine irritability/contractions go) and today has been a bad day. I've been having more contractions than normal with lots of irritability. They just drew a Mag level on me to see if the levels are therapeutic in my blood. If not, I'll be getting a bolus of Magnesium for dinner (can you sense my sarcasm?). I've been told by a nurse or two that I "pee a lot and have great kidneys." I'll trade someone a 'great' kidney for a uterus. I am not kidding.

I am 23 weeks on Wednesday, thank God! Baby Sister is kicking all the time and such an active little thing. It's so awesome to feel her movements; I'm not taking a moment for granted. If you will, please pray for me this week. It is anxiety-rearing to think what 22w6d brought with Coy's pregnancy: ruptured membranes. I am reassured knowing that God is present now, just like He was then. And, He is good, always!

P.S. Thanks to everyone who supported Team Coy financially and physically this weekend! I was moved to tears to see how many of you showed up at the walk and ordered t-shirts! We couldn't be more loved!

P.S.S. Anyone tired of the Swine Flu talk yet? I am!

Prayer Request!!

2009-04-25T12:45:00.003-05:00

***UPDATE***
After being seen in the ER today, it was determined Coy has a viral infection. His chest xray was clear which ruled out pneumonia. He still has a high fever and is so, so sleepy. My poor baby looked like he was just not feeling good at all. My heart about ripped out of my chest when I heard he was so sick today; I felt so helpless and couldn't comfort him. Chris and Kathy (my MIL) will watch him closely tonight and alternate Motrin/Tylenol to keep his fever down. Thanks for all your continued thoughts and prayers and the calming comments. It helps me so much.

Please pray for Coy today. His fever is going up (103) and he's very lethargic. Chris is at the hospital with me now, and my MIL is on her way with Coy to bring him to the ER downstairs. I'm a mess and really need your prayers right now.

test results and such

2009-04-23T17:41:00.003-05:00

Good news to report...fFN is negative and cervix is unchanged!

Basically, this means that I am NOT in preterm labor and the contractions I'm having are not productive (meaning they're not doing much of anything other than making my uterus hard). The negative fFN test is highly predictive that I will NOT go into labor and have less than 1% of delivering in the next two weeks. I will be tested again at 24 weeks, and every two weeks thereafter. Peace of mind is a wonderful thing, y'all.

Many, many pregnant women have contractions throughout pregnancy which can be harmless and are called Braxton Hicks. However, with my history of delivering at 23 weeks into pregnancy, my doctor can't take a chance that my contractions are 'harmless'. As long as I'm only contracting once or twice per hour and they're not becoming more intense/more frequent, all should be okay. But then again, things can change quickly, which is why I'm being so closely monitored in the hospital. The more time I'm here (at the hospital) means the less time Baby Sister will be (in the NICU). I will do anything for her.

Thanks for all the continued love, support, and prayers! We pray that Baby Sister stays in the mommy incubator for much longer, but we trust in God's plan. Regardless, He knows best and His plans and ways are better than ours.

Coy came for another visit today. He had the biggest smile on his face when he came into my room; it was the sweetest thing I've ever seen. In the two weeks that I've been gone, he's grown and changed SO much. He looks like a little man now, I can't believe it. He took a nap while here and slept in my arms for over an hour. I could have never imagined loving something so much.

I have a few prayer requests today and would be humbled if you would lift us up to the Lord. Coy has been waking up at night with a cough for a few weeks now; his Pediatrician thinks he may have allergies (his lungs are clear), but he also has an ear infection. Please pray that his cough subsides and his ear infection clears up. Also, (this may be TMI for some) I have that watery discharge again. I'm back on antibiotics to treat it; please pray for it to go away and for me to stay free of infection.

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways," declares the Lord. "As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." Isaiah 55:8-9

brighter days.

2009-04-21T17:40:00.006-05:00

Do y'all love the new blog design? I am really excited about it! It was done by Kelly at Fabulous K! (...I love re-decorating, although my husband doesn't have the same appreciation for it...) =)

By God's grace, I have been feeling much better these past few days. The sun has been bright and my attitude has been cheery.

My schedule is basically the same each day, which helps make me feel more 'normal'. Now that I'm an 'established' patient, the nurses let me sleep in a bit. The first week I was here, they were coming in every 4 hours (even during the night!) to take my blood pressure and temperature. It was exhausting! I've said it before, but lack of sleep can really wear on me...I'm not one of those people who can survive on 4-5 hrs. My body needs at least 8 hrs or so, and that's no joke.

Between 7-8 am, I am up and ready to start the day. Pam, from dietary, greets me each morning with my breakfast (I have to say getting breakfast in bed every morning is NOT a bad thing)! I love to start the day reading from my Bible and various books by Max Lucado, Beth Moore, and Ruth Myers. It puts my head and heart focused on God, instead of the 'what ifs?' and 'how comes?' and 'why Me's?'.

Before I know it, lunch has arrived and I'm checking email, twitter, blogs, or all the above. I have to admit that eating is a struggle for me (always has been), seriously. I know that sounds crazy, but I don't have an big appetite, nor do I like much. To complicate that, my doctor recommends I get 100 grams of protein per day (that's a lot) and this hospital food is testing my strength. If I didn't have a baby to grow inside me, I think I might starve to death in here. Thank goodness for Ensure shakes and chicken tenders! =)

After lunch, the afternoon is spent reading and studying more, chatting on the phone, and watching some TV. I usually check to see what Dr. Phil and Oprah are about, although majority of the time I don't watch either.
After he gets off work, Chris arrives and stays with me every other night. It's nice to have him here with me, but I do feel guilty that we're both away from Coy (although, Coy's been so well taken care of, I don't think he's minding that much).

At 9pm, the nurse brings me Ambien (gotta love that) and it's lights out. I have been sleeping through the night, unless nature calls me to the bathroom. I'm continuously hooked up to the contraction monitor, so the nurses watch that 24/7. Even through the night, I am contracting 1-2 per hour (I sleep through it).

For those who want to know, Baby Sister does NOT have a name as of yet. Chris and I have yet to agree on something that we both love. I decided when the time is right, we'll know what her name is suppose to be. Until then, she is Baby Sister.

Tomorrow marks 22 weeks, Praise God! I will have another cervical ultrasound and a fFN test (it detects preterm labor...if the test is negative, there is a good chance you would NOT deliver in the next two weeks). Will you please pray my cervix is still long and unchanged from the previous two weeks? Please also pray the fFN test is negative and I will stay pregnant for 14 more weeks!

Thanks for all your continued prayers and love. I promise to update as soon as I know test results.

take me out to the ballpark.

2009-04-19T21:16:00.003-05:00

Chris's best friend and old college teammate, Paul, was in town this weekend with the Cincinnati Reds. Here are some pics of Paul & Coy before the game.

pics

2009-04-18T20:42:00.003-05:00

snuggling with my baby today...

rainy days

2009-04-18T17:52:00.002-05:00

For the past few days the Houston weather has been wet and wild. With the sun taking a vacation, the rain has been pounding the window, the lightning striking in the distance, and the thunder roaring. Usually, I don't mind a few rainy days; I actually enjoy the time to rest and stay inside. But, lately, I have been missing the sunshine; my sunshine.

Recently, like the weather, my emotions have been unpredictable and uncontrollable. Some days I am happy and encouraged, and others, I feel sad, lonely, and isolated. I've never had such mood swings in my life. I know it doesn't help having this magnesium constantly running through my veins (makes me feel groggy), or not having been outside in almost 2 weeks for fresh air. It also doesn't help that I miss my son, husband, and home like crazy.

I know being here is what is necessary (and best!) for Baby Sister, and I truly, am so thankful for it. I am grateful that I am still pregnant, for the nurturing care I am receiving, for all the love and support around me. But, I am not perfect, and don't want to pretend to be. This is hard, and I wasn't ready for it.

I do, however, find so much comfort in knowing the through the storms and turmoil in our lives, Jesus is the light of the world. I find peace in knowing that God's word is alive in me, that God is who He says He is, and can do more than I could ever imagine. I also find rest in knowing that God is here, holding me and baby girl in the palm of his hand.

Will you pray for me to be encouraged and focus on the positive? I don't like feeling uncontrollably emotional or pessimistic. I hate pity parties and complaining, it's not productive or good for the spirit.

Thanks for caring for us like you all have; for following our story and praying for us. We could never fully express how thankful we are.

8 days ago...

2009-04-15T16:19:00.006-05:00

...I was admitted into the hospital. Some days have flown by, and others have dragged on. But nevertheless, I am still pregnant, and so thankful!

Chris has been able to stay with me two nights this week. And, Coy is coming every other day or so. Yesterday he was so sweet and gave me lots of hugs and kisses (he even snuggled up next to me in bed and drank some juice). He is looking so mature these days; I can't believe how fast he's growing up.

I thought I was having a cervical length ultrasound today, but it is now scheduled for tomorrow. Pray that my cervix is holding strong and continues to do so! I am still contracting 1-2 per hour, and sometimes it's less frequent than that. Last night around 8pm, I had a few contractions in a row which the nurse was watching closely. She gave me some Ambien which knocked me out and stopped my 'uterine irritability.' Chris & I woke up this morning and he told me the nurse came in and gave me some Demerol around 11 pm (they can give this to me too if I start contracting a lot). I thought I had completely lost my mind because I didn't remember this at all. Turns out, Chris is the one who was out of it...he had dreamt it. I didn't get anything besides the Ambien (I was wondering why I wasn't feeling more loopy this morning)!

Thank you so much for all the encouraging emails and comments! A sweet lady emailed me yesterday to say she was in the hospital (laying flat) for 132 days while pregnant...she's my hero! I have it easy--I can get up and use the restroom & take a shower!

I have also met two other moms here...both very sweet and I'm so happy I have them to talk to. When my doctor came in yesterday, they were both in my room and he started laughing. I guess it was funny for him to see us 'high risk' women in wheelchairs chating about hospital life! =)

"I can do everything through him who gives me strength." Philippians 4:13

day 4

2009-04-11T18:15:00.004-05:00

I am finally settled in here and used to the idea of 'living' in a hospital. The worst part was adjusting to the constant IV and lugging it to the bathroom with me every 30 minutes. I now feel like an old pro and wheel it around without difficutly, however, the scary part occurs after I get to the bathroom and look in the mirror! Ahh! My doctor came in on Thursday and said, "yeah, you look like you're on Magnesium." Gee, thanks buddy! I really could have leaped from this bed and slapped him. Haha! (Not that I could care 2 cents about what I look like right now...)

I'm on 2mg Mag Sulfate with IV fluids continuously. The 4 mg was horrible, however, the 2mg isn't bothersome. I'm also being constantly monitored for contractions--usually having 1 or 2 per hour. They are not painful at all, but feel like my stomach is rock hard. The Mag Sulfate is suppose to relax the uterine muscle and keep it from tightening, but my uterus has a mind of it's own! As long as the contractions aren't causing cervical changes, we're good. I will be checked again on Monday and praying that nothing has changed from earlier this week.

I've had lots of visitors lately, which of course, I love! Chris & Coy have come almost everyday. Coy seems to turn into a 'fussy bucket' here, but I can't blame him, there's nothing for him to play with. He is eating better and doing awesome with all the great are he's getting from daddy, his Grandmas, and Aunts. I'm so thankful for that!

We are doing are best to keep fixated on the Lord and walk by faith instead of sight. We know that our God is in total and complete control. Hebrews 11:1 says, "Faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen."

Thanks for the continued support and prayers. We're truly humbled.

update

2009-04-10T09:57:00.002-05:00

I now have a computer...woohoo!
Had to share these photos I had on my phone from a few weeks ago...
This is what Chris & I call the "baby chug"...

....and all done. =)

I am still hanging out at the hospital. My doctor thinks we'll be here for awhile. It has been a BIG adjustment for me. I did not have a great day yesterday; I was weary and emotional. I hadn't slept, eaten, or felt good since I was here. The stress of just being 'in a hospital' caught up to me and it was rough. On top of that, they increased the Mag for a few hours due to my increased contractions and I felt crazy.

After a shower, good meal, and uninterrupted night of sleep, I'm happy to report that I feel MUCH better today. My contractions are slow and steady and that's good news. Please pray that the contractions stop and my cervix holds strong. I know God is near and His plan will be done.

"In everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Chris Jesus." 1 Thessalonians 5:18

Hello from the hospital

2009-04-08T12:06:00.001-05:00

This will be brief since I'm currently without my computer and writing from my iPhone. Just wanted to update and let everyone things are good. I have a really nice, big room that over looks the Houston Zoo, so I'm not in a dungeon or anything. I have an IV with magnesium sulfate running (a medicine that's used to stop contractions). It is making me feel flushed, loopy, and nauseous, but other than that, I'm good. Contractions haven't stopped completely, but my doctor is monitoring me 24/7 and so far isn't concerned with what he's seeing. Hopefully, we'll be able to stop the mag in a day or two, then go to the terbutaline pump.

I just returned from an ultrasound and the tech was nice and revealed info to me (usually they won't tell you a thing and wait for the doctor to let you know). She was the same one who measured my cervical length 2 weeks ago, and today it is still long (she said "great") at 3.5cm. That you Jesus! Also, she measured all the baby's organs and all looks good. Baby sister was yawning and sucking her thumb! She is so weighing in at a whopping 12 oz, only 8 oz smaller than what her big brother was born at. Crazy.

Thanks for all the prayers and encouragement. Sorry I haven't/returned any emails in the past few days, I am hoping to get my computer in the next day or so, then will do that!

Please continue to pray thay my contractions stop, cervix stays nice and long, and I stay free of infection. I read 2 Corinthians 12:10 this morning and it spoke volumes to me: "Therefore I am well content with weakness, with insults, with distresses, with persecutions, with difficulties, for Christ's sake; for when I am weak, then I am strong."

really long post

2009-04-06T14:20:00.010-05:00

This weekend seemed to fly by until Sunday afternoon rolled around. About that time, I began to feel a few more contractions per hour than normal (usually I have one to two/ hour). I didn't fret about it, rested on my left side, took a terbutaline, drank plenty of fluids, meanwhile emptying my bladder every 30 minutes (a full bladder can cause more contractions). And, at about this same time, I began to feel a watery discharge. Not a normal pregnancy discharge, but watery. Of course, having pPROMed with Coy at 23 weeks, this threw my head into a tailspin. I didn't want to call my doctor (although he did give me his cell phone # and said to call at anytime--is that how you know your a high maintenance patient?) because there were two things he was going to say: go to the ER or wait until the morning and come in. I don't like ER's and didn't want to go there. Not unless I really knew something was wrong.

One of my prayers this pregnancy has been, Ephesians 4:27 "and do not give the devil a foothold." If I allow it, my mind can really get the best of me. I start thinking about the worst case scenario and talk myself into dying; I'm sure some of you know what that feels like. Reading scripture, praying, and giving God all my fear/anxiety is that only way to calm my mind and nerves. It's a fight, a fight with the devil, and I refuse to give him my peace.

For the past few weeks, I've felt God speaking to me: '35'. I don't know why, but I can't shake that number. It's not made up by me, because I would have flopped that to '24' or something.

Last night I didn't sleep soundly, waking up at 2am to our smoke detector beeping every minute or so (from a low battery). I also thought I heard someone walking in our living room. Poor Chris, had to get up and check around the house to make sure the Boogeyman hadn't stopped by for a visit. When awake, I felt more of the discharge, felt another contraction or two, and then started to do the mind-racing thing. That's always productive at 2am. I knew I was giving the devil a foothold, giving him a piece of my peace. And I didn't like it.

Through my negative thoughts, I kept feeling '35'. And, again, it's not from me. I wouldn't put 'pregnant' and '35' in the same sentence. Especially not in the frame of mind I was in at 2am. I even tried to dismiss it like, "Okay God, I don't know if your talking about my sister's next pregnancy or something, but you can't be telling me 35 weeks is in my future." Especially not with ruptured membranes.

Eventually, I was back asleep, only to wake up again at 430 with a full bladder, more watery discharge, and another contraction. No Boogeyman this time, but still that darn, beeping smoke detector. Dear God, please stop the discharge and silence that smoke detector, thank you. Needless to say, when I finally got in the shower this morning at 815, I was groggy.

When I arrived at my OB's office, I sat calmly and waited with a room full of other pregnant women. But after waiting quietly for 45 minutes, I wanted to scream to the receptionist, "I am so scared my water broke, what the heck is taking so long today?" Finally, it was my turn and I did the same routine that occurs every appt: pee in a cup, weight check, and blood pressure measured.

After talking to the nurse, my doctor came in a few minutes later and my nerves were up to my eyeballs. I told him I was paranoid I was leaking amniotic fluid, and having more contractions than usual. He examined me, checked me cervix, and said, "it's not fluid, it's an infection." Thank you Lord! I asked him to repeat himself, what did he just say? You mean my membranes have not ruptured? Disbelief, shock, awe, thankful. God, you are so good.

Next came the ultrasound which showed baby girl has lots of fluid to swim in. I'm not sure why my body is more susceptible to infections right now (other than the fact that I'm pregnant and my hormones are out of whack). He gave me an antibiotic and said it should take care of the infection and 'discharge'. Awesome.

Then he brought up the 'H' word again. Hospital. As in, I'm going in within the next week and staying (hopefully) for the next 2.5 months. At that point, expecting I'll still be pregnant, I'll can go home for the remainder or stay in. As he explained to me, he can't predict the future and is not God, he'd much rather be extra, extra cautious and admit me rather than wait until things take a turn for the worst and it be too late. My thoughts exactly.

My doctor said the words "get you to '28' weeks" and I'll I could think was '35.' Again, I wasn't talking myself up. My human mind can't fathom being 35 weeks pregnant; what the heck is that like?

I don't know why, but I resisted being admitted today. I wanted time to think about it and talk to Chris. I don't know what there really is to think about: I know Coy is in the best hands possible, and therefore I have to focus on our other baby. I have to go in. After praying, talking to Chris and my family, I feel it's best to go tomorrow. One last night with my babies for awhile, and one last night in my bed.

(As a side note, our two precious Maltese dogs have both put themselves on bedrest as well. They lie next to me in bed all day long. Very sweet.)

Don't get me wrong, I knew this was coming. I knew from the get-go that I was going on bedrest at 20 weeks. I am not surprised or really even disappointed. I just miss Coy, but I know that this time away from him is only temporary. Just like the storms that rage in our lives or the deserts we walk through, they're only temporary. God will pull you through it, bring you to the other side.

So, in conclusion, please pray for my endurance, Chris's endurance as he becomes Mr. Mom in the evenings and on the weekends, to trust in the Lord, to not to let my mind race with negativity, for God to speak to my doctors and nurses, to give them wisdom. Pray that God has given me '35' as in '35' weeks and not days.

Pray also for our families--they are running this marathon along side us, whether they wanted to or not. We really could not do this without them. We simply could not.

I'll be sure to keep my blog updated. And 'tweet' often (my dad said the other day, 'what is that tweeter thing?' HAHA).

Love you all.

T-shirts for March of Babies

2009-04-04T14:57:00.000-05:00

Hello all!!

The March for Babies is quickly approaching and we need the order the t-shirts asap!! The company we are using is out of state and does shirts for walks all over the country, and they need time to make them. We plan to place an order today, Saturday April 4th, but we will have 2 days to update the number. So, we need to know for sure by Monday April 6th at noon if you would like a t-shirt. The shirts are $15 and a portion of that will go towards the walk. If you are planning on walking we hope that you will get a shirt so we can represent Team Coy. If you are not going to walk you are still welcome to get a t-shirt and/or make a donation in honor of Coy:

http://www.marchforbabies.org/655806

*To order a shirt email Mandy at mkolkhorst@gmail with your size and mail or drop off a check for $15 to Kathy Kolkhorst at 14807 Avila Bend Houston, TX 77095

Thanks for all your support!

Mandy

Coy & Cousin Ryder

2009-04-03T13:37:00.005-05:00

Aunt Jenny and Ryder (Coy & Ryder are 16 days apart) come to the house on Wednesday's to help with Coy. She really does a great job taming the two of them. Really, they wear me out and I'll I do is listen to the commotion from my bed.

She took pics of our two ham-bones as they were eating lunch. Notice Coy is still in his PJ's because that's the way he likes it.

It's really a sight when he's getting his diaper or clothes changed. An understatement would to call him 'uncooperative.' I'm not sure there's a word to describe how bad he actually is at getting dressed. So, as long he's happy, we're happy. =)

This is dinner the same day...Aunt Jenny somehow worked a miracle and got him dressed.

On a different note, thanks for all the continued encouragement, thoughts, and prayers. It really humbles me to see how many people are reaching out to us at this time. I know God is so good and He is always here. I have peace and hope that I will manage on bed rest for much longer and baby girl will be born healthy. I really, really do. With Coy's pregnancy, I never had that feeling and just felt like something was off/wrong.

Please continue the prayers! We are so thankful and blessed.

"Trust in the Lord and do good; dwell in the land and enjoy safe pasture. Delight yourself in the Lord and he will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:3-4

one week down...

2009-04-01T19:42:00.005-05:00

I can't believe it's been one week since I've officially been placed on bedrest. The time seems to have passed quickly, but slowly at the same time. Besides reading, praying, watching tv, snuggling with Coy and Chris, and eating, I've been just 'hanging' out. I've always been somewhat of a 'homebody,' so being home all the time in my comfy clothes really isn't that out of the norm for me. I had grown even more accustom to it since Coy's arrival and avoiding the public was a must. I must admit, however, when I went to the doctor on Monday, I put on make-up and got dressed for the first time since last Wednesday and it felt good!

I am still having contractions every now and again. They mainly occur in the evenings/at night/ with movement. I continue on oral terbutaline PRN/q6H and drink TONS of fluid. Prior to pregnancy, I was never been a big water consumer; I'd much rather have a diet coke or Starbucks. And that's usually what I drank. But since I've been pregnant, I've taken in more water/Gatorade the past few months then the previous two years of my life. =) Of course, when I was pregnant with Coy, I drank lots and lots of water too. =)

The plan for the remainder of the pregnancy is to take everything week by week, and trust in God that He has a plan for this baby girl, for our family and that everything is in His control. My prayer of recent has been this: that God willing my pregnancy continue to term, but if not, that God prepares my heart and that His will be done. I do not want to live with a spirit of fear, fear of the unknown, fear of painful experiences and bad endings. Fear is from Satan and is the opposite of faith. In Isaiah 41:11, God tell us, "do not fear for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."

A big lesson I learned with Coy is that hurtful, bad, tragic things do happen to good people who believe in God. Before Coy was born extremely premature, my life was without tragedy, without death, without illness. I thought that God would always protect you from those horrific things if you asked that of Him. However, my growth as a Christian has taught me that God does not always prevent tragedy in your life and does not promise a life without it, but He does promise to walk with you through it; that He will never leave or forsake you. And, that is what brings me more peace right now than praying 'nothing bad' will happen to my baby or I.

Don't get me wrong, I am human, and continue to struggle with doubt and trusting 100% in the Lord. I want to know that I will hold my beautiful baby girl in my arms in 17 weeks. But wow, what a VERY long 17 weeks it will be if I try to control everything that is simply 'out of my control.'

Psalm 112:7
"He will have no fear of bad news; his heart is steadfast, trusting in the Lord."

March for Babies 2009

2009-03-31T17:15:00.004-05:00

This year's March of Dimes walk is quickly approaching! My gracious SIL organized TEAM COY this year and composed the following email. Please SIGN up to walk or help us raise money! We are also having t-shirts made for $15 each--if you are interested, please email Mandy at mkolkhorst@gmail.com with your name & size. We are so thankful and blessed for all the love and support! We hope that one day all babies will be born fat & healthy! And, although I will be unable to participate in this year's walk, Chris & Coy will be there! =) Here are the details for the walk...

TEAM COY

March of Dimes March for Babies

April 26, 2009

9:00am

University of Houston Campus

In honor of our precious miracle, Coy Christopher Kolkhorst, the Kolkhorst family is participating in the annual March of Dimes March for Babies on April 26, 2009. Coy is the reason we have joined together to raise money and participate in this event. We are praying that it will soon be discovered why babies are born prematurely or with birth defects so that other families will never experience this. All of you have played a special part in supporting Coy through the last fifteen months, and we would appreciate any additional support you can offer to help March of Dimes.

The March of Dimes champions the needs of moms and babies in our community and across the nation. The money we raise for March for Babies will support lifesaving research, services, education and advocacy that help babies get a healthy start.

Please click the following website to become a TEAM COY sponsor and find out more information about the walk and the March of Dimes organization.

http://www.marchforbabies.org/655806

If you prefer, we can also accept cash or check. Just click the appropriate box on the team webpage or mail checks payable to the March of Dimes to:

14807 Avila Bend
Houston, TX 77095

We appreciate any help that your hearts and wallets may allow.

updates...

2009-03-30T18:06:00.004-05:00

Today I had another check up at the OB. It went much better than I had expected! Praise Jesus! My doctor is so comforting and really takes time to hear all my concerns (and there's a lot of them)! He said my cervix is still nice and closed and thinks at this point we're doing good. He said he is not concerned with my contractions until they're over 6 per hour, and at that point I'll be admitted into the hospital. Until then,(hopefully it never happens!) I'll be hanging out at home, praying, resting, hydrating, and monitoring.

Since, I've had more time on my hands lately, I decided the blog needed a spring cleaning. And, since I've been hearing so much about Twitter lately, I decided to join and make quick updates every now & then (you can see them on the right side of the page). Also, a sweet friend Allison, was so kind to make a Pray for Ann Marie button on the right side of the page. You can copy & paste the HTML code onto your blog if you'd like!

Coy is still doing wonderful. He stayed at his Grandma & Grandpa K's last night and said 'mama' for the first time! I missed it! When Chris told me this morning, my eyes welled up with tears. I miss him and I miss taking care of him and I feel guilty that I can't. I know it's only temporary, and I know we couldn't be more blessed with those taking care of him, but it's still difficult being away from him. My spirits lifted, when Coy got home this evening,crawled into our room, pulled up on the bed and said "mama." I was so happy to hear that! =)

Thanks again for all your love & support! We couldn't get through this without all the encouraging words and prayers!

Care Calendar

2009-03-27T23:00:00.002-05:00

Hi, I'm Chris' sister, Jenny. So many of you have expressed the desire to help out, yet it's hard to really know what Chris, Ann Marie, and Coy need (besides lots of prayers!). My Sunday school class uses a website called CareCalendar to provide meals to families after having a baby. I thought that would be a way people could serve Chris and Ann Marie (and Coy, indirectly) throughout this difficult time.

It's pretty easy. You just go to the link below, type in the ID and security code, then sign up to bring a meal on a particular day. As of now, they are thinking just two days a week would be great...Tuesdays and Thursdays. If that changes (or anything else changes), I will update the calendar. My contact info is on the website (look under the "contact coordinator" tab), so please contact me if you have any issues/suggestions.

Please don't feel any pressure to help out in this area. I know there are going to be lots of ways to serve them in the next several months. But, if this is something you have a desire to do, then please check out the link below!

Thanks so much for all of the love, support, prayers, and encouragement you have given Chris, Ann Marie, and Coy over the past (almost) 16 months. Our families are so very appreciative of all you have done!

Here's the info:

http://www.carecalendar.org/logon/14219

CALENDAR ID : 14219
SECURITY CODE : 3517

I pray God showers His blessings over each and every one of you!

Jenny

new pictures/bedrest day 2

2009-03-27T20:30:00.001-05:00

Coy loves to play with Chris's golf clubs. Of course he can't really do much with it, but he's really proud of himself when he gets hold of one. Here are some pics from last weekend when we had some fun outside.

Coy saw his GI doctor on Monday and we got a great report. He thought his weight was good (19 lbs 8 oz) however decided to switch him from his regular formula to Pediasure. I can't believe we're done with formula! Well, sort of! He said we could also try whole milk mixed with Carnation Instant breakfast for the extra calories and nutrients, since it's alot cheaper. Of course, Coy would rather have the Pediasure! =)

Day two of bedrest is done. I did two, 1 hour monitoring sessions which showed only 1 contraction between the two of them. It's actually a really cool thing...once I record for an hour, I send the tracing through a phone line, and a nurse usually calls me within 10 minutes with the results. Please continue to pray that the contractions stop all together and my cervix isn't changing. Obviously, it's common for pregnant women to have Braxton Hicks contractions, however, the problem comes when they're actually changing your cervix (thinning/dilating). Therefore, they're not really BH anymore, but preterm labor. That's what we're trying to avoid/prevent/stop. I go back to the doctor on Monday afternoon and hopefully we'll get another cervical ultrasound. As of tomorrow, I'm 18w3d. So, still really early for all this to be starting. But, I am not doubting that we will get through this. The thought of losing our baby girl or enduring another NICU stay gives me this anxiety/fear that I can hardly process. I am casting all of that to God and believing in His word.

"If you have faith as a mustard seed, you will say to this mountain, Move
from here to there, and it will move; and nothing will be impossible for
you."
Matthew 17:20

Bed rest: day one.

2009-03-26T20:45:00.001-05:00

Although I've technically been "taking it easy" for a few weeks now, today was what I'm considering "day one". I've been hibernating on the couch the past few days, but today I decided it's best I stay in bed. When I'm on the couch, I'm too tempted to get up and do things.

I was set up with the home contraction monitor today and i'll be hooked up to it for one hour twice per day. The nurse who came to set it up was so sweet & nurturing; I really appreciated her kind spirit. The results from today looked great and didn't show any contractions. Of course, about 5 minutes after we took it off, my uterus tightened up. I don't even know how many braxton hicks I had today, not enough for me to worry. Please pray that I stop feeling all contractions and my cervix stays long!

Thanks for all your love and support. Not knowing why Coy was so early, I was hoping/praying that it would not be repeated and was some sort of "fluke". Unfortunately, it is pretty clear to me that undiagnosed preterm labor was most likely the cause. Hopefully this time we can get a stop to it and make it another 12 weeks at least!

Pregnancy update

2009-03-25T20:10:00.001-05:00

It seems that we've hit a few road bumps in the pregnancy lately. My weekly visits have turned into bi-weekly. My back started hurting at 16 weeks or so, then the GI upset began a few days later. This alarmed me of course, because I had the same symptoms when pregnant with Coy. Since we had no dignosis for Coy's early arrival, any and all symptoms I experience are taken seriously.

A few days ago, i started having random braxton hicks contractions. I was started on oral terbutaline and ordered to bedrest. Thank goodness for our amazing family that have been taking wonderful care of Coy! We are so blessed to be so loved and cared for. One of the toughest things in this is not being able to care for my little man. I still get to snuggle with him as much as possible and he even gave me a kiss yesterday! So sweet!

Despite rest, terbutaline, and lots of fluid, the contactions have continued to be worrisome. I was told to expect some uterine irritation due to the fact that my uterus already has a large incision in it. Today, my doctor thought my cervix felt "soft & short". Not words I was wanting to hear. He sent me for a cervical length ultrasound and the results were better than expected! My cervix is greater than 3 cm (I don't remember the exact number) but the ultrasound tech told me it was good. What a relief to hear that!

The game plan now is to get a home contraction monitor, continue the progesterone injections weekly, oral terbutaline q6h, magnesium every 4 hours, and complete bed rest except for bathroom privileges. At this point in the game, if anything takes a turn for the worst, it's still considered a "miscarriage". Terrible, I know, because our baby girl is fully formed, kicking, and filping all the time. If things continue this way, I will most likely be hospitalized from week 20 on. And, honestly, that would be a relief for me. I'd much rather be monitored super close, then be at home and have 30 minute drive to the hospital. Of course, I would miss Chris & Coy terribly, but know they'd visit often.

My doctor looked at me today and said "don't worry, we're gonna get you to 28 weeks.". I told him to not say that unless he really felt that way, which he reassured me he really did. Of course our goal is at least 36 weeks, and I'm not giving up on that. I will do whatever it takes to avoid the NICU again, but the rest is in God's hands. He has given me a peace and that is all I'm clinging to now. I'll be sure to update more often because I really hate that people worry about me.

Some scriptures I've been praying over this pregnancy are: Psalm 91:10-12, Isaiah 44:2, 1 Samuel 1:27, Ephesians 4:27, 1 Peter 5:7, Isaiah 41:11, and Psalm 112:7. If you'd be willing, please pray these scriptures for me! We are so appreciative!

One year at home! (and sibling update)

2009-03-16T19:09:00.006-05:00

Saturday, March 14th marked the one year anniversary of Coy's homecoming from the NICU. I can't believe how fast the past year flew by! We have been so blessed to have our baby boy thriving, growing, and the absolute joy of our lives. He is doing so well and for that we couldn't be more thankful! He is babbling non-stop..."dadadada!" He says dada to everything. When I say "mama", Coy says "dada". Maybe one of these days he'll throw in mama too! =) Since he's been back into his crib, he's been sleeping through the night, every night. It's so nice to put him down at a decent hour and have some time to relax ourselves (at least for now)! He's making big strides in eating as well and likes to feed himself these days. And, his new trick is to clap at everything! So cute! Continue to pray for his progress!

As far as the new sibling goes...Coy will love HER! Yes, it's a GIRL! We are so excited! I am 17 weeks tomorrow and starting to take it easy as much as possible. Continue to pray for me and a full term baby please, I would appreciate it so much!

This is Coy one year ago...
And, this is Coy a few weeks ago..here is a video of Coy beating up his daddy...

More pictures!

2009-03-09T16:22:00.006-05:00

Here are some pictures I took from this weekend! Chris turned the big 2-7 on Saturday, so we had a little family get-together.

Cousin Colby (8 weeks old)
Coy trying to beat up Grandma K with a golf club...

Okay, I didn't take this one, but they made me do it...15.5 weeks
Coy with his Great Grandpa Kolkhorst
After eating some dirt, studying a golf ball...
Fascinated by the pool...swim lessons here we come!
Cousin Ryder/ toddler genius

Attempting to walk with Grandma K...
Look Mom, no hands!
Cousin Macey with Grandma C...
Cousin Thomas with Coy
Coy with his two Grandma's...

pictures!

2009-03-05T17:24:00.006-06:00

We are back on (yeah)! Here are some pics from this week...

...such a nice day to play outside shirtless! =)

He figured out how to crawl on concrete..
..and grass...
...so happy!
sweet cousin Colby!
...he decided to take his pants off (seriously) and crawl around like this inside too...

one thing he will never turn down is a Popsicle with daddy!
....one of his favorite things to do now is to look out all the windows...
" ...is daddy home yet?"

No Internet!

2009-03-05T13:17:00.001-06:00

Sorry there's been no update lately...We've been without Internet/phone service since Monday morning. Someone somewhere keeps disconnecting our street from telecommunications! I'm writing this on my IPhone so it will be brief!

Coy is doing good except for the ongoing feeding struggles. We are continuing ST/OT weekly and hopefully we'll get to the bottom of it soon! :). He is growing up so quickly and is babbling all the time! Baba is a constant, he's close to saying dada, but no mumbles of mama yet. He's also mastered taking juice from his sippy cup (for the first time this week) which is great! Please continue to pray for Coy's feeding/eating to improve!

I'm doing well too, already 15 weeks and starting to stick out! I go back for a checkup in one week from today, then I'll go weekly thereafter. Next week I will also start the 17P injections. I will get an injection weekly from 16-35 weeks which will hopefully help prevent Preterm Labor.

Hopefully our AT&T service will be back on today & I can upload some pics of the little man! :)

Pray for Lauren & Josh

2009-02-23T18:58:00.004-06:00

Lauren & Josh were pregnant with Quads and tragically lost all four of their babies due to delivery at 22 weeks. I cannot even begin to imagine the pain they are feeling right now. Please keep them in your thoughts and prayers. Here is a link to Lauren's blog.

more bath time fun!

2009-02-23T18:33:00.003-06:00

Coy absolutely loves to take baths. I think this summer he's definitely going to turn into a fish! Here are some cute smiles from tonight.

I think it's funny to eat my bath toys!

ST/OT/First word!

2009-02-19T14:57:00.004-06:00

This week, in addition to Speech Therapy, Coy was evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. She was so sweet and I really feel she will be a big help. We are going to see her once per week to see if we can make some strides in Coy's eating/sensory needs. He has been doing 99% better the past week as far as sitting in his high chair and actually finishing all his meal. The therapists thought it was best to back down from 'table food' and go back to purees (which he does great on). So, along with puffs on his tray, he will finish all the baby food I can get in him! I am very optimistic that we will get him on the right track quickly. Despite his eating woes, he is hanging around 19 lbs (which isn't huge, but we'll take it all things considered). We are trying different sippy cups and straws to help with the transition from the bottle as well. Please continue to pray for Coy's eating to develop and mature!

On a good note, he's been sleeping in his bed for the past few weeks! Now, we still have the occasional bad night where he'll wake up several times, but lately, it's been pure sleeping bliss for the 3 of us! Coy is in bed by 9 and doesn't make a peep until 7:30am! Woohoo!

Coy is maturing before our eyes. Chris will come home some days and say "he's grown up since I left this morning!" For the first time last night, he started pushing his walking toy! He was so proud of himself and just grinned at us as he pushed it by. He's still figuring it out and is still unsteady when taking steps, but it was a first!

Another first we had this week was he said his first word: 'bye-bye'. We were leaving my parents' house on Sunday and my mom said 'bye-bye Coy'. He looked at her and said 'bye-bye'. After we got home, he said it several more times, and on Monday morning when I picked him up out of his crib, he said it again! It was really cute!

On pregnancy news, I had my cerclage placed yesterday morning. It wasn't nearly as bad as I anticipated. The only bad thing about it (I guess depending on how you look at it) is that they put you under all the way. Before I knew it, they were waking me up after everything was done. I've been taking it easy since and will continue to do so for the next few days. Thank goodness for Grandma's! =)

I don't really have any good pictures to upload this week. I took a photography class last weekend, and I thought I learned something, but really I just got more confused!

Here are some pictures of Coy eating a dog bone (don't worry, it wasn't for longer than a few seconds)! We try to keep the bones/food out of his reach, but it never fails that he finds something he shouldn't have! Our dogs love people food/Coy's toys, and our he loves dog toys/bones/food. Go figure! =)

feeling better!

2009-02-12T17:38:00.004-06:00

I'm so thankful that Coy is feeling better! We returned to the Pediatrician yesterday for a follow up/ synagis shot and she said his ears & lungs were clear! We also can stop the albuterol treatments, and only do them as needed! Thanks so much for all your prayers!

Tuesday we had Coy's second Speech Therapy appointment (we missed last week). He is struggling a bit with the food department lately. Our therapist recommended he be evaluated by an Occupational Therapist for possible sensory issues Coy is having. It seems, at times, he is willing to put anything into his mouth, except food. Although, the past few days, he has been much better. Please pray for Coy to overcome any issues he's having with eating and for us to help him with these. I am really thankful we have these professionals to help get us through! When your child doesn't eat, and there's not obvious reason, it can become frustrating!

Today I had two appointments: one with my OBGYN and another with a MFM (Maternal Fetal Medicine). At the second appointment, we had a super-duper high powered ultrasound and got to see the baby in great detail! It was awesome! Baby #2 was bouncing all over the place, waving arms and legs, and kicking everywhere. Everything looked great and we heard Baby's heartbeat loud and clear! During the ultrasound, the doctor zoomed in on Baby's tiny hand; she said, "Look, he's doing Hook 'em Horns." If you've followed Coy's story from when he was born, you've probably seen this picture of Coy doing the same exact hand motion back when he was a few weeks old....

We later said Coy was telling us "I love you". I just smiled, and thought, this is no coincidence that Baby #2 is telling us the same thing. =) (They printed an U/S pic of Baby #2 doing this, but I can't upload it!)

Here are some pics from this week...

(BTW, the reason the books on the coffee table look like such a mess is because Coy pulls them off the shelf at least 3 times daily! I have stopped making them look pretty and just throw them back when he's doing playing!)

sick update/ pictures

2009-02-05T12:09:00.006-06:00

I have taken some pictures of Coy the past day or so. By looking at them, you'd never know he was sick. He is still active and his usual energetic self. He does have a junky cough today and his nose is still flowing with snot! We are doing albuterol nebulizer treatments every 4 hours while he's awake and he is not liking those too much! Surprisingly, he has slept through the night for 2 nights in a row (and in his crib!) and is still satting great according to our pulse ox. I can tell he has 'lost' his voice and only hear these squeaks when he's trying to say something. I'm so thankful that he's doing as well as he is. I think my heart sank into my stomach yesterday when the Pedi told me she suspected he had RSV. It was always stressed to us how contracting RSV can land him back on a ventilator in the hospital. I guess the doctor could read my face because she told me over and over "don't freak out, he's going to be okay." Thanks for all the prayers & support, we are so appreciative!

Love baths! (He almost splashes all the water out of the tub!)

His new favorite thing to do...
"catching" the water...

Daddy & "mini-me"

Look at that face! So sad! =(

Prayer Request--RSV & ear infection

2009-02-04T16:35:00.002-06:00

We learned today that Coy has come down with a 'mild' form of RSV and has a double ear infection. He started having some congestion on Sunday, however, it was mild and he wasn't coughing or acting sick by any means. We went to our scheduled Pulmonary check up on Monday and the doctor said he looked great, his lungs and ears were "clear as a whistle." Last night I noticed his breathing was more labored than usual, so we hooked him up to the pulse ox and he was sating 97-98%. This morning I thought he sounded wheezy so I brought him into the Pedi for a check. After listening to him, she said she thinks he has a mild form of RSV and his Synagis shots have kept it from becoming worse. She also discovered his double ear infection. Poor baby. He was more fussy than usual yesterday, but being that we were just at the doctor 24 hrs before, I thought no way he is sick. I guess I was wrong. We are at home and have a nebulizer machine to do albuterol treatments every 4 hours and have an antibiotic for his ear infection. Although he is sick, he is still playing and active. However, when sleeping he is definitely breathing harder. We still have oxygen in the house if needed, however, he's still sating good on our monitor. Please pray for him to fight this RSV infection quickly and for it to leave no damage to his respiratory abilities. I am frustrated that although we take so many precautions to keep him well, he still came down with the one thing we were trying so hard to avoid. I am very thankful for the Synagis shot and now know why we get those every month! Thanks for your prayers!